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Writing Samples
Band 4

International sporting events such as the Olympic Games ans de Football Wordl Cup provide an outlet for patriotic feelings, and help reduce international tensions. To what extent do you agree od disagree with this topic?

I
strogly
with strength or in a strong manner
strongly
 agree that the
internnational
Suggestion
international
 events and sports provided an
autlet
a place of business for retailing goods
outlet
 for patriotic feelings. About tensions among the countries, I believe the they pause in the news, but not reduce before
then
Linking Words
 happened. I
alreary
prior to a specified or implied time
already
 went to a World Cup football play in my city and the energy was so high. Even I did not see my
country
Use synonyms
 plays, as a Japan versus Puerto Rico
planying
the act of playing a musical instrument
playing
, but the
cerimony
a formal event performed on a special occasion
ceremony
, the music, the people dressing the
t-shirt
a close-fitting pullover shirt
T-shirt
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
with
repreented
represented accurately or precisely
represented
reprinted
ther
of them or themselves
their
other
the
contries
a politically organized body of people under a single government
countries
 was magic, I can imagine if I was watching a Brazil´s game. But at the end of the
competititon
a business relation in which two parties compete to gain customers
competition
, the problems of war, money, political and hungry,
comes
Suggestion
come
 back to the news. The patriotic feeling always began before
sthe
definite article
the
s the
 opening
cerimony
a formal event performed on a special occasion
ceremony
ceremonies
, the news on
tb
an electronic device that receives television signals and displays them on a screen
tv
 and
on
Suggestion
in
 the paper showing how every
country
Use synonyms
 is preparing for the competition and
aldo
in addition
also
 how the host nation is waiting for people around the world come to see that games no matter is a
Wolrd
Suggestion
Word
World
Award
 Cup or Olympic Games, the opportunity to
united
Suggestion
unite
 people from different nationalities occur in the
to
being one more than one
two
 times and is
a
Suggestion
an
 opportunity for different languages
reconize
accept (someone) to be what is claimed or accept his power and authority
recognize
recognise
recognized
 each
othcer
not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied
other
thoughot
all the way through
throughout
tight
 sports. Here
at
Suggestion
in
 my
country
Use synonyms
 we have a
recente
new
recent
recount
 opportunity to be a host of those two big events, I met
peoplle
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 from other nationalities
wich
interrogative pronoun, used both substantively and adjectivally, and in direct and indirect questions, to ask for, or refer to, an individual person or thing among several of a class
which
 were not fans of
foobal game
Suggestion
a football game
football game
, but here they develop a strong
conection
a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it)
connection
 with their
country
Use synonyms
, and support their national team after
conection
a relation between things or events (as in the case of one causing the other or sharing features with it)
connection
 with their
country
Use synonyms
, and support their national
tema
a cooperative unit (especially in sports)
team
 after
this
Linking Words
 experience.
Ar
Suggestion
At
 the
next
Linking Words
 world
ccup
a small open container usually used for drinking; usually has a handle
cup
 I was
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 for
vacation I
Accept comma addition
vacation, I
 have been, during that time, in Italy and Spain. Italy was not participating
of
Suggestion
in
 the competition, and I was using my Brazil
t-shirt
a close-fitting pullover shirt
T-shirt
shirt
, I could observe the deception in
ther
of them or themselves
their
the
 faces because they could not using theirs.
Next
Linking Words
 week I saw a match in Madrid between Spain and Iran, and the
ciry
a large and densely populated urban area; may include several independent administrative districts
city
cry
curry
 was so happy! Spain wins from 2x0 and the
comemmoration
a disorderly outburst or tumult
commotion
 all over the city could be watched all night. According which my experience I watched and
feelling
the experiencing of affective and emotional states
feeling
filling
fill-in
 those
patriotc
inspired by love for your country
patriotic
patriots
 moments,
thats
Suggestion
that's
 why I
beliee
accept as true; take to be true
believe
 in
this
Linking Words
, I am looking
foward
at or to or toward the front
forward
 to the
next
Linking Words
 one.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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