some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, videos games & other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

#parents #level #violence #tv #videos #games #entertainment #children #leisure #affect

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

Linking Words

contemporary era, brutality has been increased in the cities around the world.

Consequently

Linking Words

, certain guardians are anxious among their kids regarding the escalation of cruelty shown on television,

videos

Suggestion

video

games and on other media platforms in their spare time.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the prominent factors influencing the teenagers and will provide paramount solutions to combat the issue.

To begin

Linking Words

with, outdoor

games activities

Accept comma addition

games, activities

have been slumped drastically among the teenagers.

Firstly

Linking Words

, not only agitated games

yield

Suggestion

yields

anger to the kids, but

also

Linking Words

, teenagers do not listen to their parents because they demand to live their lives on their own way, which is a growing concern for the parents.

Secondly

Linking Words

, as kids imitate their role models in the movies when they watch actors achieving everything with anger, so they confer that aggression is a feasible way to curb any difficulty.

Hence

Linking Words

, it constitutes a detrimental impact on kids. On the flip side, cruelty could not be the robust provision to face any situation. If custodians focus on the regular activities of the youngsters,

then

Linking Words

it would be facile to take care of them.

Besides

Linking Words

that, guardians ought to stimulate kids to play outdoor games;

therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

practice will assist kids to play with the suitable material provided by their co-parents.

Lastly

Linking Words

, the government must mandate the guidelines to mitigate the cruelty from all sources seen by the kids. Ultimately, these measures will improvise the issues. In a nutshell, games have been encouraging the kids towards barbarity

significantly

Suggestion

signs

Indeed watching

Accept comma addition

Indeed, watching

violent content leads to a perilous effect on the kids, yet these measures can be curbed with appropriate vigilance and guidance by involving kids in community services.

Submitted by dream services on Sat Jun 06 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

278 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Since more people are travelling abroad nowadays, it is necessary for individuals to have a greater awareness of other cultures
Travelling has become really popular in the last decade. The Low-cost airlines have opened the opportunity to travel abroad and to discover new places for more people. In this essay, I would like to discuss the different issues that this opening of borders may have created.
4
band
some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plant and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
One of the major concerns in today’s world is damaging the environment and altering it. Some people believe that the extinction of certain species can have a detrimental impact on the ecosystem, while some other people claim that there are more principal environmental troubles these days. This essay will further elaborate my views for favoring the impacts and thus, will lead to a logical conclusion.
4
band
Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication hurts young people's reading and writing skills. Do you agree or disagree?
There is a view that users of computers and mobile phones for communication become a danger to young people's abilities such as writing and reading skills. I completely agree with this proposal as it reduces literacy skills and declines reading time.
5.5
band
Research shows that business meeting,discussion and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Researchers illustrate that lately,commercial, discussions and learning is done virtually. Some claim that this has a positive impact while others think conversely. This essay, will argue that the advantages outweigh the drawbacks. It will firstly, demonstrate that the method is time and fund saving, followed by its primary disadvantage namely loss of physical contact.
6
band
Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that governments should prioritize addressing environmental pollution and housing issues as a means to prevent health-related problems. From my perspective, I largely agree with this statement.

some parents are worried about the increasing level of violence in tv, videos games & other types of entertainment for children's leisure. How does this affect children? How do you think problem can be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Since more people are travelling abroad nowadays, it is necessary for individuals to have a greater awareness of other cultures

some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plant and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones for communication hurts young people's reading and writing skills. Do you agree or disagree?

Research shows that business meeting,discussion and training are happening online nowadays. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say in order to prevent illness and disease, governments should focus on reducing environmental pollution and housing problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?