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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people now undertake extreme activities, from hang-gliding to mountain climbing. Why do people risk their lives in this way, and do you think this is a good trend?

#people #activities #mountain #risk #lives #trend
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It is observed that more and more people are undertaking the extreme activities
such
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 as hang-gliding,
mountain
Use synonyms
 climbing. People tend to risk their
life
Use synonyms
 in
such
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 tasks mainly
beacuse
for the reason that; on account of
because
 of
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of personal satisfaction, physical fitness and to explore new places. In my opinion, these kinds of activities are good as it
yeilds
be the cause or source of
yields
 many
benifits
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
 to the
person
Use synonyms
 and
society
Use synonyms
,
However
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, needs to be performed with extreme cautions.
Adventure thrills
Accept comma addition
Adventure, thrills
 many people leading to
sense
Suggestion
a sense
 of personal satisfaction. Extreme activities will take people out of their comfort zone and requires them to push one's own limit which encourage them to set new horizon for
themself
reflexive form of "them"
themselves
.
For instance
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, one hiker who successfully climbed 3000
feet
Suggestion
foot
mountain
Use synonyms
 will set
target
Suggestion
targets
 to climb
5000 feet
Suggestion
a 5000 foot mountain
5000 foot mountain
mountain
Use synonyms
next
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 time. Some people are fond of outdoor activities from their childhood and these
kind
Use synonyms
 of tasks will give them an opportunity to pursue their
intrest
a sense of concern with and curiosity about someone or something
interest
interests
 which in turns
lead
Suggestion
leads
 to their own happiness. Another important reason people risk their lives is to maintain the fitness and explore the new places. These
kind
Use synonyms
 of
activites
any specific behavior
activities
 requires
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
a person
the person
people
 to be physically and mentally fit. So in order to get themselves prepared for
such
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life
Use synonyms
threatning
threatening or foreshadowing evil or tragic developments
threatening
 activity, people sweat in the fitness clubs as well as undergo
rigerous
rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard
rigorous
 training for years which will benefit for their overall health.
Finally
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, the trend that has emerged to take up
such
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
 risking
activites
any specific behavior
activities
activists
 is in the well being of
Use synonyms
person
Suggestion
people
persons
the person
 and
society
Use synonyms
 if undertaken carefully. People can take up these
kind
Use synonyms
 of activities as their career and can get get name and fame on the international platforms. It will lead to the discovery of new places leading to commercial activity taking place in these areas which will feed thousands of
poeple
(plural) any group of human beings (men or women or children) collectively
people
 living in
these area
Suggestion
these areas
this area
. In conclusion,
activites
any specific behavior
activities
such
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 as hang-gliding to
mountain
Use synonyms
 climbing involves risk for
life
Use synonyms
on the other hand
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 it will have enormous
benifits
financial assistance in time of need
benefits
 leading to the
person
Use synonyms
 and
society
Use synonyms
. These
kind
Use synonyms
 of activities needs to be encouraged by
society
Use synonyms
 as well as government with
certian
definite but not specified or identified
certain
 guideline outlined in order to ensure the safety of the people.
Submitted by ajay wadkar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Adrenaline rush
  • Thrill-seeking
  • Personal growth
  • Accomplishment
  • Resilience
  • Risk management
  • Social recognition
  • Adventurous spirit
  • Endorphins
  • Fatality
  • Risk assessment
  • Cultural phenomenon
  • Recklessness
  • Safety precautions
  • Extreme sports
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