Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

#effects #health #lifestyle #university #students #school #children #sports #activities #times #week

Nowadays, there are many young people who are suffering from health problems because they do not like to do some exercise. It is a good idea to force

this

group having more outdoor activities in order to make them healthier of

both

physical and mental status. I firmly agree with

this

statement and

this

essay will explore

both

views.

Firstly

, there have been many high technologies introduced to our world,

such

as the internet which provides a lot of activities, specially indoor activities like games, comedy shows and so on.

As a result

most of youngsters

Suggestion

most youngsters

are likely enjoyed and spent most of their leisure time on it.

Thus

this

group will not want to go out and do some

sports outdoor

Accept comma addition

sports, outdoor

activities as there have been served from many convenient tools. So these groups

are tend

Suggestion

tend

to be obese and having silent diseases,

such

as diabetes, high cholesterols and so on.

For example

, from Thai Health reports showed that

there are increasing of

Suggestion

there are increasing

obesity in children aged between 6 and 12 years old.

On the other hand

, if there are encouragements from

both

Suggestion

school and family to convince the young adults having some sports

such

as soccer, swimming, volleyball and any other sports, it may help them

getting

Suggestion

get

more outdoor activities.

Consequently

, they will increase of movement and stimulate their blood circulation and

also

burn the energy, so

this

will help them

maintaining

Suggestion

maintain

to maintain

a strong body

instead

of only sitting all day in front of the television. To sum up,

both

of government and family should encourage their children having fun from outdoor activities more than sitting and playing games all the time. I do agree with forcing

this

group to have more socializing in the real world and

this

will offer them getting stronger.

Submitted by su_nu33 on Sun Jun 07 2020

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.5

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Sedentary lifestyle
Mandatory
Physical activity
Mental well-being
Cardiovascular health
Peer interaction
Motivation
Extracurricular activities
Health curriculum
Fitness culture
Academic performance
Compulsory participation
Incentivizing
Physical education
Overall well-being

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Because of the negative effects on health of an inactive lifestyle, all university students and school children should be forced to do sports activities at least 3 times per week. Do you agree?

Women and men are commonly seen as having different strengths and weaknesses. Is it right to exclude males or females from certain professions because of their gender? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Nowadays, some people claim that public museums and art galleries will not be needed because people can see historical objects and works of art by using a computer. To what extent you agree or disagree with this opinion?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poor countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

People argue that children spend their leisure time differently than it was before, and the main reason fir this is new devises.

Too much emphasis is placed on going university for academic education. People should be encouraged to do vocational training, because there is a lack of qualified tradespeople such as electricians or plumbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?