Today, TV channels provide men’s sport shows more than women’s sports shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?’

#tv #channels #men’s #sport #women’s #sports #time

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Some people have different opinions concerning the question of should

Use synonyms

channels

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give equal

time

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women

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’s

sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

and

men’s

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sport

Fix the agreement mistake

sports

show examples

This

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essay will discuss

both

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pros and cons of

this

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statement. On one hand,

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channels

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shouldn’t give equivalent

time

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for

both

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women

Change noun form

women's

show examples

and

men’s

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channels

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. First and foremost, nowadays, we can easily see that men watch more

sports

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than

women

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. The reason why

this

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happens is that

women

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tend to relax by other activities than watching

sports

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and when they watch the

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they won’t be watching

sports

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. They often watch game shows

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

comedy and movies more than

sports

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Therefore

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provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

Use synonyms

women

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’s

sports

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time

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won’t attract many

women

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audiences

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Besides

Linking Words

, if they change the

time

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for

men’s

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and

women

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‘s

sports

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show

Fix the agreement mistake

shows

show examples

they might lose some male

audiences

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since males nowadays go to work more than females do so if they change the

time

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of the shows some guys will give up on watching

sports

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because of their restricted schedule.

Moreover

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this

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will exacerbate the figure of

this

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channel by creating a significant degradation in the number of viewers and the economy

On the other hand

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, we should

put

Verb problem

take

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem into consideration.

In other words

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provide

Wrong verb form

providing

show examples

equivalent

time

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for

both

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gender’s

sports

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shows may bring some benefits for

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channels

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and the viewers.

Firstly

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, since

sports

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are indispensable nowadays, raising more

time

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for

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women

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’s

sports

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shows may attract an abundant number of

audiences

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with

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show examples

all kinds of genders and ages, not just men and boys.

Therefore

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this

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will increase the number of the audience watching

sports

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every day, and increase the amount of money those

channels

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make. At the same

time

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, female

audiences

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will have general views about

sports

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and they, later on, might like to watch

sports

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, too. Apart from that, if others company sees the rising figure in those companies they might offer them sponsorship and commercials so

both

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companies will earn a profit.

As a result

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, they will attract more female

audiences

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women

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will watch

sports

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more and more and that television company might make a lot of money from them, too. In conclusion,

while

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some have different opinions, I opine that giving equal

time

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for

men’s

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and

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women

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’s

sports

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may not only bring advantages but

also

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brings

Correct subject-verb agreement

bring

show examples

disadvantages.

Submitted by Nam Anh on Sun Jun 07 2020

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task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific examples to support your points, particularly about the relationship between gender and sports viewership.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph clearly supports or builds on your central thesis. Some transitions could be smoother.

task achievement

The essay provides a balanced view, discussing both pros and cons regarding equal time for men's and women's sports on TV.

coherence cohesion

The structure of the essay is logical, with a clear introduction and conclusion, which guide the reader through your main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
9
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

377 words

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Today, TV channels provide men’s sport shows more than women’s sports shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sport and men’s sport?’

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In the past, people used to travel abroad to look many differences from their home country. Nowadays, the sceneries in places all over the world are more and more similar. What are the causes of the similarities? Do you think the advantages of this similarity outweigh the disadvantages?

As countries develop, people tend to buy more and more cars. Do you think the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.