IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people regard video games as harmless fun, or even as a useful educational tool. Others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effect on the people who play them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits??

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effect
These days, more and more people unsure whether it is harmful to play
video
 games because of the hazard of dependence. Many people are in agreement about whether
video
 games obstruct education, and controversy
also
 exists that they are helpful for learning. In
this
 essay, I will provide some advantages and disadvantages and state my opinion on
this
 issue. From an overall perspective, there are two key merits of playing
video
 games. Perhaps the main advantage of
this
 is that it is of help for alleviating stress so that it could lead to mental health as its harmless fun. A
further
 point in favour of making
video
 games is that individuals can utilize them as useful educational tools. To illustrate, when children do
video
 games, they significantly concentrate on what they are doing. If the games are constructed of educational contents,
then
 they will learn them in a breeze, amusingly. Despite these arrangements, there is
also
 a certain circle asserts that there are noxious impacts of
video
 games. The main disadvantage is that individuals may be addicted and too much reliant on them.
Consequently
, that phenomenon could result in an interruption to studying. What is more, it might cause a lack of physical activity. The more time people spend their time playing
video
 games, the less their physical activities. It can be a highly crucial problem, as well. In conclusion, it is clear-cut that
this
 is a topic which raises strong passions on both sides of the argument. I believe that all things conceded, the merits of
video
 games outweigh the demerits, as long as the playing times are not excessive. If individuals control the time themselves,
video
 games could be more beneficial for their life.
Submitted by 최혜진 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: