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Band 5

Some people say that too much attention and too many resources are given in the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree about this opinion?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
As
a
Correct article usage
apply
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human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
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, we should do whatever it takes to protect our ecosystem. Some people ponder that our society is putting more attention and resources than required for
protection
Add an article
the protection
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 of wild animals and birds.
However
, I strongly disagree with
this
 view and the reasons for that will be explained in the following paragraph
To begin
 with, in the current situation, we do need to put a lot more light
to
Change preposition
on
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 the issue
such
 as illegal poaching. Interfering with the natural food chain has shown
worst
Correct article usage
the worst
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repercussion
Fix the agreement mistake
repercussions
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 in the past.
For example
, famine condition in
china
Capitalize word
China
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arises
Wrong verb form
arose
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 after 1925
due to
killing
Correct article usage
the killing
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 of birds, which
use
Wrong verb form
used
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 to eat
pest
Fix the agreement mistake
pests
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 from the crops. After
putting
Verb problem
making
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 laws and highlighting issues for the sake of the animal kingdom, still we hear news like the killing of rhinos
due to
 their horn.
Hence
, there is no
such
 thing
like
Change preposition
as
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 more attention to
this
 topic.
In addition
, a bunch of people opine that too many resources are given to safeguarding animals.
However
, compared to the amount of damage done by the
industrial revolution
Correct your spelling
Industrial Revolution
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 and
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 population in nature, these investments are like a drop of water in the ocean.
For instance
, the building of roads and dam projects results in
wiping
Correct article usage
the wiping
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 of large areas of forest.
Therefore
, it is not right to say that we are putting lots of money for their safety. We are reciprocating what we took in the past from them.
To sum up
, needless to say
that
Correct word choice
apply
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human has done more harm to speechless creatures and now it’s our responsibility to cover up for the mistake
done
Verb problem
made
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 by our past generation and make
this
 world a better place to live
Submitted by Nikita Mathur on

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Task Response
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the position or opinion on the given topic
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the coherence by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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