The position of women in the society has changed markedly in the last twenty years. Many of the problems young people now experience, such as juvenile delinquency, arises from the fact that many married women now work and are not at home to care for their children. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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The world has been certainly revolutionized and affected the human thinking.

This

Linking Words

will lead to the professions that women are getting compared to the past. Some people opine that

this

Linking Words

modernization view affect the children’s development as the mothers are working. I strongly support

this

Linking Words

view. The essay will discuss my stance with the arguments in below paragraphs.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the predominant reason behind the number of crime activity done by the child is that

this

Linking Words

people

Suggestion

person

having lack of knowledge and love. As their both parents are working;

this

Linking Words

people

Suggestion

person

spend

Suggestion

spends

most of the time alone

Suggestion

the home. Even they watch some of the shows on the Tv which influences them to do the wrong task.

Moreover

Linking Words

, most of the tender

get

Suggestion

gets

the motivation and support from their peer members.

Although

Linking Words

sometimes these people forces the child to attempt the crime; having no idea about its future impact.

For example

Linking Words

, research conducted shows that many school students have attempted antisocial work to show their courage to their friends.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, the advancement of the technology has delivered many electronics gadgets with

that people

Accept comma addition

that, people

can make connection over the world. As

this

Linking Words

will contain some programs which create the detrimental impact on the children’s psyche.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

can be done by continuous monitoring them and providing the positive atmosphere which increases their confidence.

For instance

Linking Words

, many games are developed which contains the concept of revenge makes them criminals. In conclusion, as per my opinion, the number of

atrocity

Suggestion

atrocities

done by the children is

raising

advancing or becoming higher or greater in degree or value or status

rising

due to lack of training done by their parents as having less time and the internet which

deliver

Suggestion

delivers

the programs which spoil the career.

PANKIL KHATRIMon Jun 08 2020

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

evolution
domestic roles
diverse professional engagements
dual-working parents
family dynamics
juvenile delinquency
societal and economic factors
dual-income households
childcare methods
community support systems
gender roles
family responsibilities
professional aspirations
development needs
correlation
simplistic causation
workplace policies
flexible hours
parental leave
gender equality
role models
successful womanhood

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