Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the country side What problems are caused by this issue? What can be done to solve the situation ?
There is no doubt these days that most young
people
are travelling to the town centre and leaving the countryside to the elderly. The question is what are the reasons for the leaving and what we can do to stop this
issue.
In Change the punctuation
?
this
essay, I am going to discuss the caused
Replace the word
causes
for
Change preposition
of
this
problem and the suggestions for solving the situation.
In terms of problems, most of the young people
are leaving because
the low job Add the preposition
because of
opportunity
in the countryside. The main reason given to support Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
this
claim is that the towns and cities
contain more. To illustrate, Riyadh city has a lot of companies
such
as:
Alshaya, Almaray and Nadik Remove the comma
apply
companies
which the person can apply to them
. Correct pronoun usage
apply
However
, Alkharj governorate did not have that much of companies
that people
can
work forWrong verb form
could
them
.
Correct pronoun usage
apply
Additionally
, big supermarkets and other entertainment activities which usually occur in the centre of the city is
a second reason for moving to these areas. Correct subject-verb agreement
are
In other words
, the young people
are looking for more fun time that they can find in the cities
.
Moreover
, The university locations are often in the main cities
, For that, the students that they live in small towns move to main cities
looking for study.
To solve this
dilemma, the governments should provide more job opportunities and encourage the companies
to open in countryside regions. Also
, they should open more educational institutes in these areas.
In conclusion, it is evident that the travelling of young people
is increasing rapidly. Governments must ensure steps are taken to prevent this
phenomenon from deteriorating further
.Submitted by Nourah Alhamdan on
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Task Response
The essay addresses the causes and potential solutions to the issue of young people leaving the countryside for cities. It acknowledges the problems caused by this issue and offers suggestions for solving the situation. However, the essay needs to provide a more balanced discussion of both the problems and the solutions. It seems more emphasis is placed on the problems, while the solutions are briefly mentioned.
Coherence & Cohesion
The essay shows some attempt at organizing ideas logically, but there are some issues with coherence and cohesion. The introduction and conclusion are present, but they lack clarity and coherence. The supporting points are not organized effectively, and the essay lacks a clear and cohesive structure. There is a need for better transitions between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.