IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

More and more young people from wealthy countries are spending a short time in communities in poorer countries doing unpaid work such as teaching or building houses. Why？Who benefit more from this, the community or these young people?

#people #countries #time #communities #work #houses #why？who #benefit #community
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In recent years, there are many young people from wealthy countries decide to spend a short time doing voluntary works in poor communities. Their decisions can be explained mostly by three reasons.
First
Linking Words
, it is apparent that almost all people do unpaid job for good intentions. Knowing that they have many advantages in life, young people in the developing world want to use their resources to improve the poorer’s living.
Besides
Linking Words
, travelling to other countries gives them valuable experiences and chances to explore new cultures.
Last
Linking Words
 but not least, in a developed economy where the workforce is competitive, a well-rounded candidate is one with both professional knowledge and consideration of the growth of his society. Having voluntary activities on their resumes
thus
Linking Words
 catalyses young people job offers from big companies or admissions to well-known business schools.
In addition
Linking Words
 to benefits for younger people, the poor society
also
Linking Words
 received lots of support. In fact, the benefit these activities bring to undeveloped countries, it's much greater than it seems to be. In the short term, the poor people are helped to build their houses and their children are well taught.
Then
Linking Words
, in the near future, the citizens in rich countries will have great power to make changes in the world. Clearly, their old experiences of undeveloped countries will make them feel more responsible for helping the poor.
Also
Linking Words
, their knowledge of poor societies
also
Linking Words
 enables them to make plans that are actionable. To conclude, volunteer work in undeveloped countries is beneficial for both the rich and the poor. Indeed, these activities are essential for the sustainable growth of our world.
Submitted by luat tien on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: