Some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that develop the mind, such as reading and doing crossword puzzles. Other feel that it is important to give one`s mind a rest in leisure time. Discuss

Many people are in favour of
significance
Suggestion
the significance
of using spare
time
for mental activities like reading and doing crossword puzzles while others are convinced that it is vital to relax during spare
time
. I believe that human should spend spare
time
for
activities improving
Accept comma addition
activities, improving
the
mind
but without forgetting about
mind
relaxing. There are two magnificent benefits to use leisure
time
for
mind
developing
Suggestion
developer
.
First
of all, activities
such
a reading books can broaden people`s knowledge which can be helpful in the future.
Second
,
brain
Suggestion
the brain
is trained by intellect
games
Accept comma addition
games, hence
hence
, it protects against Alzheimer`s disease.
Moreover
, people can save their long-term memory for years to come. But
on the other hand
,
human body
Suggestion
the human body
is not
machine
Suggestion
a machine
and it needs to be relaxed,
in particular
brain,
although
it can lead to serious health problems. 24hours use of
mind
can cause stress.
Moreover
, giving rest to
mind revitalize
Accept comma addition
mind, revitalize
it, helps to think better. In conclusion, I believe that if people use spare
time
for mental activities, they will remain
health
Suggestion
healthy
for years to come but everything is good in moderation.
Submitted by Ruzana Meretukova on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
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