IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some say you should always marry for love; others say that in an uncertain world it is wise to marry for money. Discuss both points of view and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience

Marriage
Use synonyms
 is a unique
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
 in life, but the choice of a partner is a very daunting task. Some people are of the opinion that you should choose a wife or a husband based on emotion, others
feels
Correct subject-verb agreement
feel
show examples
 that the best is to go for wealth. I strongly believe that the decision on who to spend the rest of
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 with is not to be made on the basis of material things. On the one hand, it is easier to endure the vicissitudes of
marriage
Use synonyms
 with a partner whom you have a deep affection for. Things are always changing
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 so
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 it in wedlock.
Although
Linking Words
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 the euphoria of settling down could
last
Linking Words
 for a
while
Linking Words
,
however
Linking Words
, it is only a matter of time before reality sets in. There will be a time when confrontations will come, differences
in
Change preposition
between
show examples
 the two individuals will
hunt
Verb problem
arise
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 even physical changes in a partner could be distasteful to the other. In periods like
this
Linking Words
, it is only the mutual emotion that can keep the union going.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey carried out in Nigeria revealed that 4 out of 5 individuals
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 married for love had
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 lasting
marriage
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advocates of marrying for affluence feel that it is more enjoyable, as there will be a lot less lack in the union. They argue that
marriage
Use synonyms
 comes with a whole lot of financial burden,
such
Linking Words
 as
;
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 feeding, house maintenance, educating and taking care of the kids and others, and only affection cannot be enough to handle all these.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, it could be true, but I vehemently disagree with it.
This
Linking Words
 is because, in spite of the fact that there will be financial needs in the house, there is no problem
a
Correct word choice
that a
show examples
couple that works together in love and harmony cannot overcome. The little they have would be managed and
utilized
Change the spelling
utilised
show examples
 judiciously with happiness. To
summarize
Change the spelling
summarise
show examples
, in the choice of who to spend the rest of your life with,
such
Linking Words
important
Correct article usage
an important
show examples
 decision that could determine one's emotional state for the rest of life should not be taken with
regards
Fix the agreement mistake
regard
show examples
 to material possessions
, undoubtedly
Punctuation problem
. Undoubtedly
show examples
, there are some benefits attributed to marrying for money, but the merits of settling down with your love
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 enormous.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
State your own view in the intro and end with it. Then give two clear parts for each side.
coherence and cohesion
Make each paragraph hold one main idea. Use clear links like first, also, but, however.
content
Add more real life examples or facts to back points. The Nigeria survey is good; add more detail.
language
Fix grammar and spelling. Use simple words and short sentences.
mechanics
Check punctuation and sentence flow. Use periods and commas correctly.
strength
The author shows a clear view that love is a strong base for marriage.
coherence
Effort to show both sides with 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.
content
Some life based examples are used.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: