IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some say that secondary schools should spend less time on traditional subjects such as history and should spend more time on teaching communication skills and business courses. To what extent do you agree or disagree with it?

#say #schools #time #subjects #history #communication #skills #business #courses
Students at the secondary level of school are taught subjects like history and are given more time to spend on these subjects rather than conversation skill and trade subjects. I disagree with the fact that
such
 subjects should be given less importance to that of communication skill and field subjects, and a number of reasons surround my opinion. Students at the secondary level of study do not have the ability to judge what they want to become when they grow up, and
thus
 it is important for them to build a foundation by studying traditional courses
such
 as history. They should get to know the background and culture of the country from where they belong. It is important for the schools hold them with knowledge and educate them with the background of the country and of the world at large, by teaching history.
For example
, historical achievements of stalwarts
such
 as Mahatma Gandhi and Martin Luther King can be known by studying the subject, people who paved our way for a better life.
On the other hand
, effective conversation and industry courses,
although
 important, can be learnt through real earth exposure in their professional lives. They may need classroom training to learn enterprise courses, but to gain field acumen and thrive in it, they need real earth exposure which cannot be achieved during secondary school.
For example
, someone can have inherent communication skills, and
thus
 do not need to be taught. In my opinion,
although
 effective communication and business courses are more relevant in today’s globe, subjects
such
 as past should be given more importance as they will create the foundation of the students and
thus
 should never be ignored.
Submitted by pmwebdesigner on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: