Some people think that it is too difficult for poor people or people from rural areas to go to university. So that the universities should make it especially easy to them. Do you agree or disagree?

5.0 / 9

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Introduction

Suggestion

is argued by many that universities should enforce a

postive

characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.

positive

bais

a partiality that prevents objective consideration of an issue or situation

bias

basis

base

when considering

applicant

Suggestion

application

form less fortunate family background since they. Personally, I believe that

such

Linking Words

arguements

a fact or assertion offered as evidence that something is true

arguments

for

this

Linking Words

policy

Use synonyms

do not hold water and

colleage

a fibrous scleroprotein in bone and cartilage and tendon and other connective tissue; yields gelatin on boiling

collagen

admission

Use synonyms

should judge everyone with equal standard.

Body paragraph 1

People who agree to

this

Linking Words

affirmative action often believe that students from those areas deserve

lower standard

Suggestion

a lower standard

because education in those areas are of lower quality.

However

Linking Words

, they have ignored the fact that most students who did well in the

colleage

the body of faculty and students of a college

college

admission

Use synonyms

exam rely mostly on their self study rather than

guidance

Suggestion

the guidance

of their teachers at school.

Therefore

Linking Words

, the lack of high quality teachers in poor/rural area

should be serve

Suggestion

should serve

should be served

as a reason for implementing

this

Linking Words

policy

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, if we lower the

admission

Use synonyms

standard for

particular group

Suggestion

a particular group

of student, it would be extremely unfair to other students that put great effort in studying for the examination.

Body paragraph 2

Moreover

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

policy

Use synonyms

is easily prone to exploitation. There is not doubt that many students would try to game the system by moving to those

neighbourhood

Suggestion

neighbourhoods

before applying to universities.

This

Linking Words

way, not

only it is unfair

Suggestion

only is it unfair

to others, but

also

Linking Words

distortion

Suggestion

distorts

distort

distorting

the original purpose of

this

Linking Words

policy

Use synonyms

. Adding to that, it is

also

Linking Words

likely to cause

social problem

Suggestion

social problems

a social problem

such

Linking Words

as property price inflating because opportunist might seize

this

Linking Words

mentality to sell houses to eager parents who wanted to help their children to gain

edge

Suggestion

an edge

in exam.

Conclusion

In conclusion, I strongly disagree with the proposition to lower the

admission

Use synonyms

standard for any particular group of student. Not only the

policy

Use synonyms

is not justify

Suggestion

is not justified

does not justify

doesn't justify

has not justified

, it

Linking Words

also create

Suggestion

also creates

has also created

loophole

Suggestion

loopholes

a loophole

for students to gain unfair advantage.

sgj jj

Jun 10, 2020

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

5.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

barriers
limited access
financial constraints
equality and diversity
comprehensive approaches
scholarships
mentorship programs
academic support
root causes
maintaining academic standards
fairness
merit-based
inclusive higher education system
social and economic benefits
dynamism
innovation
tailored support
admission criteria
inclusive approach

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Many governments think that economics progress is there most important goal. Some people, however, think that other type of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Fast food is now universally in most countries and is becoming increasingly popular. Some feel that this is a positive trend, while others do not. What are your opinions in this?

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