Some people think that exercise is key to health while others feel that having a balance diet is more importannt.

Some people notion that physical activity is the gateway to a healthy
life
.
On the other hand
, some believe that
nutrition
is more essential.
While
exercise
keeps the muscles active,
diet
Add an article
the diet
show examples
provides
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
suitable
nutrition
to the
body
for smooth functioning. In my opinion,
exercise
plays a major role in providing an individual with a breakthrough to a healthy
life
. Going tough on your
body
with rigorous training
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
cardio,weight training,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
outdoor sports, keeps an individual's
body
warm.
Therefore
, giving the muscles the stretch and
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
that stretch to not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
keep them isolated for long
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
wears them out,
thus
affecting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human health.
For instance
, in my
childhood
Add a comma
childhood,
show examples
all the adults would
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
in order to
mainatin
Correct your spelling
maintain
their health, which extended their lifetime to almost 10 more years.
Source
Correct article usage
The source
show examples
of food,
its
Correct word choice
and its
show examples
nutrition
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
essential for the
body
to carry out tasks on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
basis.
Moreover
, it is the major reason behind all the functions being performed in our
body
.
For instance
, protein provides the muscle
Change preposition
with that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
nutrition
it needs to actually maintain the pump after
exercise
,
according to
gym trainers.
However
,
nutrition
alone without any
exercise
may go in vain to prove to be the key to
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
life
To conclude
,
body
movement plays a major role in
maintaing
Correct your spelling
maintaining
an
illness free
Add a hyphen
illness-free
show examples
life
.
However
,
nutrition
alone can not surpass the weightage of effectiveness of the physical activity on
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
body
.
Submitted by irazalalji on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the essay, ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your position. The conclusion should summarise your main points effectively. Make sure that each paragraph naturally follows from the one before, for better logical flow.
task achievement
Your response addresses the task, however, it is crucial that you develop your ideas fully. Aim to present a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your opinion. Provide clear and detailed examples to support each point for a stronger argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: