Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own idea (in words, pictures, music of film) in whicever way they wich. There should be no government restrctions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#artists #freedom #idea #pictures #music #film #whicever #wich #government #restrctions

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These days many

artists

Use synonyms

show their products without any restriction from

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

or our society. Under

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

circumstance

Add a comma

circumstance,

show examples

some

people

Use synonyms

think that

government

Correct article usage

the government

show examples

do not need to take action

for handling

Change preposition

to handle

show examples

this

Linking Words

problem.

However

Linking Words

, I firmly disagree with

this

Linking Words

idea because

this

Linking Words

issue

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a negative influence on our society and

also

Linking Words

it makes decrease worthy of

arts

Use synonyms

. First of all, if

artists

Use synonyms

do not have restrictions, it could

make

Verb problem

have

show examples

negative effects on our community. To express their own creativity, sometimes they show

arts

Use synonyms

which are away from the standard norm. Under

this

Linking Words

circumstance

Use synonyms

, children are influenced by the

artists

Use synonyms

arts

Use synonyms

and their parents should

be complain

Change the verb form

complain

show examples

to the creators. After that, many

people

Use synonyms

think that the

artists

Use synonyms

have a bad effect on our society and they start to block

artists

Use synonyms

. For these reasons, the

artist

Use synonyms

who has their own rules will be

effected

Correct your spelling

affected

show examples

this

Linking Words

circumstance

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, in Korea, children are influenced by singers and actors

especially

Add the comma(s)

, especially

show examples

hiphop

Correct your spelling

hip-hop

hip hop

artists

Use synonyms

are affect

Change the verb form

are affected

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

teenagers. Students who desire to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hiphop

Correct your spelling

hip-hop

hip hop

artist

Use synonyms

mimic

Use synonyms

artist’s

Fix the agreement mistake

artists’

show examples

behaviour and lyrics which are

kind

Correct article usage

a kind

show examples

slangs

Fix the agreement mistake

slang

show examples

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason, many parents block their kids

Change preposition

from

show examples

watching

hiphop

Correct your spelling

hip-hop

hip hop

artists

Use synonyms

. Another reason is that it can make

decrease

Add an article

a decrease

the decrease

show examples

worthy

Replace the word

worth

show examples

art

Use synonyms

. If they show their idea freely, it would

be drop

Change the verb form

drop

show examples

their value of expertise. It means that expressing their creativity without any rules can

make

Verb problem

apply

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

lower

entry

Correct article usage

the entry

show examples

barrier in

this

Linking Words

field.

For

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

reason,

people

Use synonyms

will have

Change the article

show examples

lower admiration of

art

Use synonyms

and

also

Linking Words

arts

Use synonyms

begin to shrink.

For example

Linking Words

, in Korea, many young

people

Use synonyms

desire to

Use synonyms

Add a missing verb

be artist

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

and they want to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Use synonyms

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

creator

Fix the agreement mistake

creators

show examples

. Under

this

Linking Words

Use synonyms

circumstance

Add a comma

circumstance,

show examples

they create a lot of

art

Use synonyms

pieces and display

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

on their Instagram. It means that many young

generation

Change to a plural noun

generations

show examples

no longer think that

art

Use synonyms

is not

serious

Correct article usage

a serious

show examples

and expertise field.

As a result

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

atmosphere

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

the scarcity of Korean

art

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I strongly disagree with

this

Linking Words

opinion because it can

Verb problem

have

show examples

bad

Add an article

a bad

show examples

effect on our community, and

also

Linking Words

when they express their creativity without any barriers, it can drop worthy of creativities.

Submitted by jiyoonahn99 on Fri Jan 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure to use a variety of connective words and phrases to link ideas and arguments throughout the essay. Additionally, organizing paragraphs with clear topic sentences that introduce the main idea will contribute to the overall logical structure of the essay.

task achievement

For task achievement, you should focus on fully responding to all parts of the task prompt. It is essential to give a balanced argument if the question requires discussion of both sides, and to develop your ideas fully with illustrations and examples. Ensure each paragraph conveys a single clear idea and expand on it with specific details.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
38
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

353 words

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Creative artists should always be given the freedom to express their own idea (in words, pictures, music of film) in whicever way they wich. There should be no government restrctions on what they do. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

“Prevention is better than cure” Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

nowadays the way people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology affected the types of relationships that people make? has this been a positive or negative development?

Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas others think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefits. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

the type of media that people of differnt age groups used to get daily newsw in one country in 2011