At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

It is true that

today in

Accept comma addition

today, in

some countries the proportion of young adults significantly higher than older people. As the result young generation has not seen their grandparents who can share the valuable life experience which is important for young adults. In my opinion the benefits of it often outweighs the drawbacks. The role of elderly people in

society

was

Suggestion

had been

always essential because, they have been taught a precious knowledge for their generation. I think every

society

needs

such

kind of people who can share their own experience. But nowadays the number of older people reduced considerably than past for several reasons.

Consequently

this

trend affects to

society

in many

ways

Accept comma addition

ways, for

for example

, the crime rate rose, people forgot some traditions which they were learnt from their grandparents.

Firstly

, among young people the crime rate rose and I think

this

is the aspect of bad

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

because some

families parent

Accept comma addition

families, parent

busy with their work and they do not have older people to educate their children.

Secondly

, people are forgetting some traditions

this

cause for losing their social identity in

this

case the value of elderly people

great

Suggestion

greater

than adults.

By contrast

, the larger number of adults

mean

Suggestion

means

the more power

for

Suggestion

society

. In reality, older people

can not

cannot

work and

Accept comma addition

work, and

they will become retired for their rest of life and if number of older people more than adults

this

effects

have an effect upon

affects

the economy of

country

Suggestion

the country

a country

because

worker’s layer

Suggestion

the worker’s layer

is crucial for

developing

Suggestion

developers

Moreover

, almost all countries have demand for young, well-educated, active and diligent people.

For example

, in Uzbekistan the ratio of adults more than older people so, the economy of

this

country developing rapidly. To conclude, of course older people play

active role

Suggestion

an active role

society

and it

can not

cannot

be denied.

However

, I think the downsides of it often outweighs by adults and

this

situation the advantages are greater than

disadvantages

Suggestion

the disadvantages

Submitted by Izzatillo Ravshanov on Fri Jun 12 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Your opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualication. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some of the methods used in advertising are unethical and unacceptable in today's society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Are classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today there is increasing concern over environmental problems. While some people believe taht they must be solved on a domestic level, others think that only through international cooperation can environment issues be dealt with. Discuss both views and give yoru opinion.

In some countries, governments encourage businesses to move outside of the cities to solve the problems of housing and transport in the cities. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this policy?