Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

#people #factors #child’s #development #television #friends #music

While parents obviously play a major role in the way that their

child

develops as they get older, many people believe that social factors outside of the family now

influence

children much more.

This

essay will discuss both sides of the argument. It is

definetely

without question and beyond doubt

definitely

true that these days children spend most of their time watching TV, listening to music and meeting their friends either personally or through social media. There has been no doubt that these things

influence

child

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

and development. With the help of these things, children learn to survive in

this

fast-growing world.

However

, these things have their repercussions

also

. Content available online or on TV is sometimes not suitable for children as per their age and can profoundly impact them.

As a result

Accept space

this

will

influence

children towards harmful activities

such

as smoking, drinking, lying, stealing, etc. Sometimes friends can

also

have a bad

influence

on children by forcing them to do illegal activities under peer pressure.

Therefore

, in order to save children from immoral activities, family supervision is necessary so that they can control what is suitable for their children and what is not.

Also

, when a

child

is born, it is said that family members should spend most of their time with the

child

because children

initially

learn from their surroundings, whether its culture or language. That's why children learn their

mothers'

Suggestion

mother

mother's

tongue themselves without any tuition.

Also

, being with family members helps children to learn to respect elders and value relationships, which is very important in personal development. To Conclude, I believe that

although

tv, music, and friends

influence

child

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

However

, family members are still more important in overall

child

development. As family members can provide support, security to

children which

Accept comma addition

children, which

no other things

such

as tv, music, and friends can do.

Submitted by IQRA BISMI on Fri Jun 12 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

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Some peoole think that cities are the best place to live. Others prefer to live in countryside. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do vou agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that prison sentences should not be used in dealing with criminals. Education and job training should be used instead. To what extent do you agree on disagree ?