Some people think that the main factors influencing a child’s development these days are things such as television, friends, and music. Others believe that the family still remains more important. Discuss both opinions and give your opinion.

While parents obviously play a major role in the way that their
child
develops as they get older, many people believe that social factors outside of the family now
influence
children much more.
This
essay will discuss both sides of the argument. It is
definetely
without question and beyond doubt
definitely
true that these days children spend most of their time watching TV, listening to music and meeting their friends either personally or through social media. There has been no doubt that these things
influence
a
child
's
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
and development. With the help of these things, children learn to survive in
this
fast-growing world.
However
, these things have their repercussions
also
. Content available online or on TV is sometimes not suitable for children as per their age and can profoundly impact them.
As a result
,
Accept space
,
this
will
influence
children towards harmful activities
such
as smoking, drinking, lying, stealing, etc. Sometimes friends can
also
have a bad
influence
on children by forcing them to do illegal activities under peer pressure.
Therefore
, in order to save children from immoral activities, family supervision is necessary so that they can control what is suitable for their children and what is not.
Also
, when a
child
is born, it is said that family members should spend most of their time with the
child
because children
initially
learn from their surroundings, whether its culture or language. That's why children learn their
mothers'
Suggestion
mother
mother's
tongue themselves without any tuition.
Also
, being with family members helps children to learn to respect elders and value relationships, which is very important in personal development. To Conclude, I believe that
although
tv, music, and friends
influence
a
child
's
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
However
, family members are still more important in overall
child
development. As family members can provide support, security to
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
no other things
such
as tv, music, and friends can do.
Submitted by IQRA BISMI on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: