IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Museums and art galleries should concentrate on works that show history and culture of their own country rather than works of the other parts in the world. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#museums #art #galleries #works #show #history #culture #country #parts #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Museums and art galleries where reflect
cultural values
Suggestion
the cultural values
 of a country are assumed should be prioritized that exhibit art national history and cultural identities
instead
 of foreign culture. From my perspective, I partly agree with
this
 issue, when people visit the exhibition rooms can widen knowledge about both nation history and international one so both viewpoints are equally valid. On the one hand, one of
main purpose
Suggestion
the main purpose
 to display historical merit of their country is to preserve national values. Museums and art galleries contribute to
conservation traditional
Accept comma addition
conservation, traditional
 handicrafts,
costumes
money collected under a tariff
customs
 and way of life that are becoming obsolete in modern life.
Moreover
, many historical objects are illustrated to remind everyone about the periods that predecessors experienced to construct and protect our country and be grateful for their deserts as well as take pride in our origin.
On the other hand
, it is no doubt that if only focus on their own tradition, they will have no chance to be exposed to masterpiece and
artifacts
a man-made object taken as a whole
artefacts
 from oversea. The benefit of exhibit other cultures brings about is understandable, help broaden their horizon and have
comprehensive view
Suggestion
a comprehensive view
 about tradition all over the world.
Furthermore
, it is
also
 commercially beneficial when attract many foreign tourists. Connecting friendship between countries when
exchange culturally
Accept comma addition
exchange, culturally
 with each other. In Vietnam, there are many museum and galleries display not only Vietnamese
cultures but
Accept comma addition
cultures, but
also
 the history of others attracts a lot of visitors. To summarize, I believe that we should not limit the object of exhibition rooms, both options have their own characteristics and should
are
Suggestion
be
 exposed.
Submitted by Giang Hương on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: