The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Nowadays, the ministry of health in most of countries around the world, especially in advance one, is faced with
medical issues cause
Suggestion
the medical issues cause
of obesity. Means that One of the best ways to reduce and control
this
problem focus to train some activity courses in school days for having
healthy mind
Suggestion
a healthy mind
and
body
and
also
doing exercise convert to the routine
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
On
Suggestion
In
the following I will give some justification why I completely agree with
this
opinion. One of the most obvious reasons to add extra sports and physical exercises in the
schooldays
Suggestion
school days
are following of the reliable psychological theory which says that, healthy mind in a healthy
body
. Definitely, middle childhood and adolescence are perfect times of life to fit and produce
strong
Suggestion
a strong body
body
for
rest
Suggestion
the rest
of the life.
Therefore
,
school's department
Suggestion
the school's department
as responsible for educating the
next
generation should focus more on physical education. Indeed, students will be able to
valuable
Suggestion
valuate
human sources while they have knowledgeable and healthy
body
. Another postulate that the advocates like me would put forward about the habit. Clearly, by repeating an action regularly and consistently it
become
Suggestion
becomes
part of your identity.
In other words
, every student with learning and practicing physical educations from primary schools to tertiary levels are capable to make an excellent habit for themselves to doing exercise in middle age and aging. Due to the fact that they never suffer diseases cause of overweight. In conclusion,
although
the number of people who eating too much and moving too little increase sharply, with
a
Suggestion
an
accuracy and cohesiveness curriculum we are going to tackle
this
problem in the near future.
Submitted by Are so amrollahi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • obesity rates
  • health care system
  • physical education
  • instill
  • long term
  • raise awareness
  • healthier lifestyle choices
  • nutritional education
  • active transport
  • quality of instruction
  • facilities and equipment
  • diet control initiatives
  • community sports programs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: