Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are solutions?

#people #employment #jobs

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The significance of

employment

has been highlighted over the past decade. From

this

aspect, questions that the seniors who need

employment

have to compete with the young individuals for the same jobs arise.

This

essay will explain what

problems

this

causes and what solutions are. Two core

problems

caused by competing

employment

between the old and the young can be suggested. Irrefutably, imbalanced hiring

opportunity

is one of the

problems

This

is because, with capitalism,

this

opportunity

allows companies to employ young workers who are mentally and physically healthy to make huge profits.

This

undoubtedly leads the young to be easily hired and

this

in turn results in severe unemployment for the old. What is more, the deterioration of generation conflict is the other problem. To exemplify, the youth claim that the old are hardly likely to understand advanced technologies at the workplace, and the old consciously attempt to teach the youth about life.

This

therefore

, brings about disrespect for each other. Fortunately, countermeasures to address the

problems

mentioned above are found. At

first,

education as to the detrimental of imbalanced hiring

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

should be carried out for the company’s owners and job seekers. In doing so, fair hiring

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

would be increased and old individuals would have chances to work more than before.

Moreover

, the companies ought to enact a policy allocating

employment

for elderly individuals.

This

undoubtedly leads the business to address complaints from generation issues and

this

in turn results in balanced

employment

. To recapitulate, the

problems

of competing

employment

between the old and the young are imbalanced hiring

opportunity

Fix the agreement mistake

opportunities

show examples

and the deterioration of generation conflict.

However

, education

as well as

company

ivolvement

Correct your spelling

involvement

evolvement

are suggested as solutions.

Submitted by subin12260 on Mon Apr 15 2024

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Task Response

Consider incorporating more specific examples and data to bolster your arguments, which can enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.

Coherence & Cohesion

Although your essay integrates effective linking words, further diversifying your range of cohesive devices could elevate the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.

Task Response

For an even richer response, exploring the impacts of the problems and solutions on broader societal and economic levels could provide a deeper analysis.

Structure

The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear overview and summary of the discussion.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your main points are well-supported and contribute to a coherent argument structure, guiding the reader through the essay logically.

Task Response

It's commendable how you've addressed both sides of the issue (problems and solutions), offering a balanced and well-rounded analysis.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

280 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Intergenerational competition
Age discrimination
Adaptability
Hiring practices
Workforce diversity
Upskilling
Lifelong learning
Flexible working arrangements
Ageism
Technological proficiency
Productivity concerns
Diverse skillsets
Legislative protection
Employment equity
Biases

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Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are solutions?

Fully explain your ideas

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries?