Nowadays more and more older people who need employment have to compete with younger people for the same jobs. What problems do this cause? What are solutions?
The significance of
employment
has been highlighted over the past decade. From this
aspect, questions that the seniors who need employment
have to compete with the young individuals for the same jobs arise. This
essay will explain what problems
this
causes and what solutions are.
Two core problems
caused by competing employment
between the old and the young can be suggested. Irrefutably, imbalanced hiring opportunity
is one of the problems
. This
is because, with capitalism, this
opportunity
allows companies to employ young workers who are mentally and physically healthy to make huge profits. This
undoubtedly leads the young to be easily hired and this
in turn results in severe unemployment for the old. What is more, the deterioration of generation conflict is the other problem. To exemplify, the youth claim that the old are hardly likely to understand advanced technologies at the workplace, and the old consciously attempt to teach the youth about life. This
, therefore
, brings about disrespect for each other.
Fortunately, countermeasures to address the problems
mentioned above are found. At first,
education as to the detrimental of imbalanced hiring opportunity
should be carried out for the company’s owners and job seekers. In doing so, fair hiring Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
opportunity
would be increased and old individuals would have chances to work more than before. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
Moreover
, the companies ought to enact a policy allocating employment
for elderly individuals. This
undoubtedly leads the business to address complaints from generation issues and this
in turn results in balanced employment
.
To recapitulate, the problems
of competing employment
between the old and the young are
imbalanced hiring opportunity
and the deterioration of generation conflict. Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
However
, education as well as
company ivolvement
are suggested as solutions.Correct your spelling
involvement
evolvement
Submitted by subin12260 on
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Task Response
Consider incorporating more specific examples and data to bolster your arguments, which can enhance the persuasiveness of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Although your essay integrates effective linking words, further diversifying your range of cohesive devices could elevate the fluidity between sentences and paragraphs.
Task Response
For an even richer response, exploring the impacts of the problems and solutions on broader societal and economic levels could provide a deeper analysis.
Structure
The essay effectively introduces and concludes the topic, providing a clear overview and summary of the discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your main points are well-supported and contribute to a coherent argument structure, guiding the reader through the essay logically.
Task Response
It's commendable how you've addressed both sides of the issue (problems and solutions), offering a balanced and well-rounded analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.