For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why doyou think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do differentactivities in their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevantexamples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #time #activity #doyou #differentactivities #relevantexamples

Youngsters play a vital role in making the future generation bright for the world. So the outcome of their

activity

Suggestion

actions

would definitely influence and impact us. I believe that the main cause behind the shopping being the

favorite

something regarded with special favor or liking

favourite

task is the hectic work schedule led by them, giving them no

time

to shop during working hour and opting to spend the same during spare

time

fulfill

put in effect

fulfil

their needs, desires, fashion and trends in the form of purchasing

activity

. Without doubt, they should be encouraged to do other past

times which

Accept comma addition

times, which

would help them to enhance their knowledge and health.

To begin

with, globalization has opened the market at a multinational level leading to products and services available at any place of the world. Brand influence, marketing strategies

have attracted

Suggestion

has attracted

youth to purchase products not only for the needs but

also

for the extravagancy. Teenagers find it as an astounding interest,

also

the all recreational activities and restaurants are available in huge malls, so they really enjoy the experience. If I give my personal experiences, as a

youth I

Accept comma addition

youth, I

would always find shopping as my most pleasurable

activity

as it gives me a satisfaction by fulfilling my desires with exploring brands and products and have fun with eating food or enjoying movie to reduce my level of stress from the busy work days.

However

, I believe that youths should

also

involve themselves in doing other jobs which makes them more approachable among the people. As per my perception, they should

also

concentrate on spending quality

time

with family, try to read

book

Suggestion

books

and doing

health related

Suggestion

health related activities

a health related activity

activity

like exercise, meditation, which would boost their stamina and productivity.

Also

, practicing social

activity

would help them in showing empathy and kindness towards others which ultimately would make the coming generation humble and more courteous towards others. In conclusion, I believe that teenagers should give importance to the aforesaid jobs and plan a balance between the spare

time

activities which will encourage and enhance their skills and health with fulfilling their shopping needs and desires.

Submitted by Sherin Samson on Sat Jun 13 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

342 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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For many young people today, shopping is their favorite free time activity. Why doyou think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do differentactivities in their free time? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevantexamples from your own experience or knowledge.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Compare and contrast the psychological effect of warm and cool colours, drawing on research and real-world observations.

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child's development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?

Describe a tourist attraction that very few people visit but you think is interesting. What/Where the place is? What people can see there? Why only very few people visit there? And explain why you think it is interesting?