IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
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Whether or not companies should solicit private
information
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 from candidates during the recruitment process is a contentious issue. Despite the fact that there are some valid reasons not to collect personal data, I believe that the benefits of gathering
this
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information
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 far outweigh the disadvantages. On the bright side, collecting more background
information
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 from potential employees allows employers to select the right candidates for the job. Companies can decide whether the candidate is a right fit from their personal data
such
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 as hobbies and interests.
For instance
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, if there is a job which requires meeting new colleagues and travelling abroad frequently, an applicant who is interested in socializing and
traveling
the act of going from one place to another
travelling
 would be deemed a better fit for the vacancy than another person who is fond of reading and listening to music.
Furthermore
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, certain
information
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 enables employers to provide a safe working environment for all workers. To illustrate, collecting
information
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such
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 as previous criminal record is essential for the human resource manager to determine whether the potential employee will pose a threat to the company or not. On the flip side, some applicants may be reluctant to provide
information
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 beyond their educational background and work experience.
Consequently
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, companies may lose some workers with great potential. Another downside is that sometimes the
information
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 provided by the candidate could be false.
For example
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, someone who has no interest in physical activity may list soccer as their hobby for the sake of impressing the employer.
Such
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information
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 is useless for the company and thwarts the very purpose of collecting it. To conclude,
although
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 there are downsides to collecting personal
information
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 from job seekers, I support
this
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 practice because it enables organizations to find candidates who fit their work culture.
Submitted by ales on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
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