Many people believe that the overconsumption of refined sugar is a major problem in the world and should be regulated the same as alcohol and tobacco. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

These days, needless to say that half of all shelves in a grocery store is stocking refined
sugar
Accept comma addition
sugar, hence
hence
never before have people consumed much more
sugar
each day than now. Especially, since individuals are living sedentary lifestyles, working in offices,
this
excessive amount of
sugar
is simply not needed by the human body.
As a result
, the body has a difficulty to process and store the excess of
sugar
and
this
leads to various diseases.
Therefore
, I completely advocate for the idea that the overconsumption of refined
sugar
should be regulated as it can have a detrimental effect on individuals’ health and negative consequences to society when people consume
sugar
unlimitedly
. Excessive amounts of
sugar
entails
Suggestion
entail
a number of illnesses that lower a quality of life; and
hence
regulations must be put into practice to reduce it. Millions of people consume junk food,
such
as chocolate bars and candies, which lead to high
sugar
levels in
blood
Suggestion
the blood
and eventually to obesity and diabetes. These
diseases both
Accept comma addition
diseases, both
disable an individual and
furthermore
may result in the death.
Therefore
, the governments should create age restrictions on sales of concentrated
sugar
products in order to safeguard youth from early addictions, the same like alcohol and cigarettes. Nowadays the appalling data show that the obesity has started to affect small children starting from the age of 5. More than 40 percent of 16 to 19-year-olds are obese in the United States. The experts blame junk food making health status of the population worse. So, the
overconsumption
of sugary can affect both modern society and
next
generations. When a large proportion of the population suffers from
sugar
-related diseases, society
is burdened
Suggestion
are burdened
by high medical costs. The government is obliged to pay billions of dollars to cure
such
diseases.
Hence
,
this
phenomenon
also
affects the public treasury. The governments should impose taxes on the production of
such
products like too sugary drinks or sweets in order to make these goods more expensive and less desirable. Some countries have already imposed
such
tariffs on
sugar
-contained products,
for instance
, France has introduced a tax on sugary drinks at a national level and eventually the sales of soft drinks declined in the
next
years. In conclusion, the overconsumption of refined
sugar
is a major issue at a country level as well as on a global scale.
Therefore
, governments must take immediate actions to save their citizens from sugary products and improve the overall quality of life and life span.
Although
one agrees that cakes and energetic drinks are delicious, they give not only transient
pleasure but
Accept comma addition
pleasure, but
also
extra
calories
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calories, therefore
therefore
people should look after their health starting with monitoring what they eat.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overconsumption
  • refined sugar
  • regulate
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • sugar addiction
  • consumer behavior
  • government intervention
  • economic impact
  • public awareness
  • freedom of choice
  • food labeling
  • healthier lifestyle
  • substance control
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