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Band 4.5

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to a creat lot of revenues. some people think that this money should be invested in social program for poor.

#governments #attempt #festivals #creat #revenues #people #money #program
In the recent decade, people suffer from a lot of
problems
Accept comma addition
problems, although
although
 they have been living in the modern era.
As a
result
, the government tries to find ways that improve the standard of living for the citizens of the world. On the one hand, some comments argue that there are some advantages to making festivals. From their point of view, festivals are a great opportunity for people to get away from their boring lifestyle
in addition
 that allows people to start communication with each other and make solidity country, as well as
this
 young generation, have a chance to become familiar with the mindset of their ancestors
as a
result
 they can strengthen their sense of identity.
On the other
hand there
Accept comma addition
hand, there
 those who subscribe to the view that investing in festivals has several drawbacks. They argue that most people suffer from the financial issue and they find difficult to provide themselves with basic amenities.
For instance
, the cost of curing some diseases is too much and the governments should offer
free health caring system
Suggestion
a free health caring system
 to their citizens. As well as
this
 when people can benefit from amenities and the standard of living will be increased for them, in a
result
,
Accept space
,
 people feel satisfied all aspects of their life. Personally believe that if the government improve the standard of living for dwellers, people will be happier and try to do their tasks at high efficiency in
result
 the countries will be developed.
Submitted by Arsalan Montazeri on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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