Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

#film #stars #music #celebrities #money #surroundings #lives #price

With social media`s growing presence

Suggestion

our lives, every day we are in the exposure of news about film stars and music celebrities. Most of the people think that with a huge amount of money they make, they are living in utopia and

are not engaged

Suggestion

do not engage

don't engage

with any kind of problems at all.

On the other hand

, there are certain theories that are common among people that celebrities are not satisfied with their lives and they are not as happy as common people. I somewhat agree with the latter approach towards

this

issue. The reason for

this

is that

although

they are rich and famous, at

last

the superlative of 'little' that can be used with mass nouns and is usually preceded by 'the'; a quantifier meaning smallest in amount or extent or degree

least

they are human just like everybody else with the certain kinds of needs to be satisfied and one of the most important needs

that is

felt

missing

Suggestion

was missing

amongst the all in film stars and music celebrities is privacy. As I mentioned before, privacy is a missing link of

celebrities

Suggestion

celebrities'

lives. When your privacy has been violated, you will not be able to do your ordinary activities and

this

will be

result

Suggestion

a result

the result

Suggestion

the situation that utilizing of your wealth in the best manner becomes impossible. Just imagine the situation that a movie superstar wanted to go for a walk with his or her child, how hard is to deal with people`s looks, let alone facing with the crowds requesting for taking

picture

Suggestion

pictures

and so many other requests that people will have. To conclude,

although

celebrities are rich and absorb attentions and loves everywhere, they

are facing

Suggestion

are faced

with so many difficulties that common people are not engaged with. The more money they make and the more famous they become, the bigger problems they are dealing with as we have

this

idiom that “a big head has a big ache”.

Submitted by Hadi Saeed on Wed Jun 17 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Film stars and music celebrities may earn a great deal of money and live in luxurious surroundings, but many of them lead unhappy lives. Do you agree? To what extent is this the price they pay for being famous?

Fully explain your ideas

In today's world many people own a smartphone. Do you think the advantages of owning a smartphone outweigh the disadvantages?

Some employers involve employees in the decision-making process of products and services. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

Some people think that good health is very important to every person, so medical services should not be run by profit-making companies. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh the disadvantages?

Million of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?