Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #control #behaviour #children #age #freedom

Dear whom it may concern,

First

of all, I would like to say thank you to all of the admission and academic team from Massey University who supported my son during the enrolment and choosing courses. Unfortunately, because of the

unpredictable

Suggestion

unpredictability

of the nCoV-19 pandemic, until now, we have not received any information regarding the VISA process.

Therefore

, there is some foreseen risk that my son has to deal with if having no student VISA. The Vietnamese University Entrance Exam is coming soon with the significant pressure that he has to shoulder. He just cannot stand in between with vague opportunities.

Consequently

, he decided to postpone the

second

part of the Foundation Year at Massey University and keep on going

Suggestion

into

the

first

year of Vietnamese University. Please kindly withdraw his name from the

enrollment

list and keep the records of his

first

part

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the Foundation Year at Nguyen Sieu School, we plan to come back to Massey University when he finishes his

first

year in Vietnam. Even my son sets

Suggestion

his way of studying in New Zealand, the situation now has changed, we cannot put all eggs in one basket. 18 years old is an important milestone in his

study

Suggestion

student

career and again, we cannot miss another boat. Please kindly advise me the procedure of withdrawing and refunding

tuition fee

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tuition fees

the tuition fee

based on Massey University's regulations. Thank you very much and looking forward to hearing from you soon. Sincerely, THAI BA HIEN's mother - NGUYEN TO TAM

Submitted by Tuan Nguyen Hoang on Thu Jun 18 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

249 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think parents should control the behaviour of children from a very young age but others think we should give them more freedom. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Should humans adapt to technology or should technology be adapted to us? Is technology making us intellectually weaker or more intelligent? Discuss both views and give your point of view?

Some people believe that professional athletes serve as positive role models for young people, while others argue that their behaviour both on and off the field, can have negative influences. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In some countries, young people do not take care of their elderly relatives. Instead, they appoint trained professionals who take care of the elderly. Is it a positive or a negative tend according to you?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicnes and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that in the modern world we are more dependent on each other, while others think that people have become more independent. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.