IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might be the case ? What could be the disadvantage?

#people #self- #work #company #organisation #case
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The
first
Linking Words
 pie chart shows the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 utilized for different purposes in an Australian home, whereas the
second
Linking Words
 one shows the amount of greenhouse gases emitted
as a result
Linking Words
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption. Overall, it can be seen that heating accounts for 42% of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed by an Australian household. While water heating consumes 30% of the total
energy
Use synonyms
, other appliances use up 15%. Refrigeration, lighting and cooling consume only negligible amounts of
energy
Use synonyms
. According to the
second
Linking Words
 chart, water heating is the biggest cause of
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 gas emissions in an Australian home. While heating consumed the highest amount of
energy
Use synonyms
 (42%), it produced only about 15% of the total
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 gas emissions. Water heating consumed about 30% of the total
energy
Use synonyms
 and was responsible for the emission of 32% of
green house
a building with glass walls and roof; for the cultivation and exhibition of plants under controlled conditions
greenhouse
 gases. Other appliances consumed about 15% of the
Use synonyms
energy but
Accept comma addition
energy, but
 caused 28% of the emissions. Refrigeration is
also
Linking Words
 an important cause of emission. While it consumed only 7% of the
energy
Use synonyms
, it contributed to 14% of the total emission. Cooling and lighting caused the least amount of emissions.
Submitted by Adi Suryaputra on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: