YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT JOB AND LOOK FOR A NEW ONE. WRITE A LETTER TO A FRIEND. IN YOUR LETTER. • EXPLAIN WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT JOB • WHAT KIND OF JOB YOU ARE LOOKING FOR • ASK FOR SOME HELP OR ADVICE.

#job #friend #help #advice

Dear

Mrs.

Change the punctuation

Mrs

show examples

Joana,

This

year I will be working as an

English

teacher for 10 years, during

this

time I have been teaching in Brasas

English

course for 8 years. I enjoy working there but I need to make more money,

also

, it would be outstanding to have any other experience in my curriculum. I have been looking for a new position with a better salary and I succeed to find some opportunities,

however

, they were in other cities.

Therefore

, it would require me

many

Replace the quantifier

much

show examples

time to get to work or move from home. I would like to receive your help to find a good position as

English

Correct article usage

an English

show examples

teacher in Vancouver, I know you are recognized and maybe you might have

some place

Correct your spelling

someplace

show examples

to indicate

Change preposition

to me

show examples

or know some good positions. I wish

also

some

Correct pronoun usage

you some

show examples

Correct your spelling

advice

advices

Change the wording

advice

pieces of advice

bits of advice

show examples

about the necessary skills the

English

schools are requiring

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since I have been working for much time in the same school, I do not know what else I should demonstrate to get a better position. I look forward to your response and I thank you in advance. Best wishes, Fernanda Valeriano

Submitted by dra.fernandavaleriano on Thu Jun 18 2020

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

187 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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YOU HAVE DECIDED TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT JOB AND LOOK FOR A NEW ONE. WRITE A LETTER TO A FRIEND. IN YOUR LETTER. • EXPLAIN WHY YOU WANT TO LEAVE YOUR CURRENT JOB • WHAT KIND OF JOB YOU ARE LOOKING FOR • ASK FOR SOME HELP OR ADVICE.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Write a letter to a museum's manager after visting the museum. Give some advice for improvement as you had a mixed experience.

Write a letter to a friend who invited you to visit them in their country. Express your appreciation of the invitation Write the date of the visit Write about the things you want to do there

Many high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. So, companies should be required to allocate a certain percentage of these positions to women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Everyone should become vegetarian because they do not need to eat meat for a healthy diet. Agree or disagree?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others belive that chikdren who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.