IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that young people brig more profits to a company. Others says that older people actually bring more profit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #brig #profits #company #profit
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Iveryone
Suggestion
Everyone
 does hold big dreams and to pursue that dream they are prepared to work day and night.
For instance
, the youth in their twenties is not well settled in their life, they dream of having luxurious cars, villas, mansions, and a
lot
 of investments and for that, they are willing to effort extremely hard.
Hence
, the efforts and high numbers of hours given by them in the business results in making it more lucrative.
Conversely
, the seniors in the company do hold the experience which is not inbuilt in the juniors. It happens many times that because of the employee prestige and goodwill in the market, makes the customers attract toward that business. To exemplify, it takes a while to gain customers' trust and, the employee must make
lot
Suggestion
lots
 more efforts to maintain the relationship with clients, and because of
this
 long term network with the client brings the earnings to the firm.
Moreover
, it undertakes an ample of time in the industry to build communication and networks with the people, and by doing that, one can make
business
Suggestion
a business
the business
 more appealing, and it requires a
lot
 of experience. But as per my standpoint,
this
 can be catered with the passage of time or by giving proper training to them; they will be well prepared to deal with customers. As per my perspective, today’s generation possesses a
lot
 of potentials. They are flexible, energetic and well accustomed with technology. In present time technology plays a major role in the company’s earnings as the advanced techs can make the working cost-effective. And it will be easily adopted by them, whereas it will be most challenging and time-consuming for older people because of their less cognitive power as compared to young. To conclude, young individuals have more capability and calibre to earn more for the firm because of their energy for persistent work, zeal, and adapts. While the elderly do contribute, but not as much as the youngster.
Submitted by Chandni on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: