It is sometimes thought that people who travel outside of their own country are more tolerant and understanding of others. To what extent do you agree?

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It is undeniable that travelling can help
people
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change their thoughts from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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experience of the
people
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around them. There is an idea that
people
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who go abroad to the rest of the world apart from their
country
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are more tolerant and understanding of others. From my point of view, I agree with
this
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idea for many reasons, described in the following paragraphs. To commence, many
people
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that go to another
country
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have met local residents. Those
people
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will become open-minded
people
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because of
its
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their
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perception that
have
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has
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changed after they went abroad.
In addition
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, the
culture
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cultural
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diversities of the local
people
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have taught them how to understand the surroundings and
people
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around them by their actions and activities in everyday life.
Thus
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, we have to adapt ourselves to each
others
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other
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.
For instance
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, if the residents in Italy prefer to wear jeans when they hang out with their friends, so we have to wear jeans like them to understand them too.
Moreover
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, All the lessons that they have learnt cultivate their
tolerant
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tolerance
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of many situations in their lives by its failure from the things that they have done in many countries.
Thus
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, they can adapt themselves to
be in
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apply
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a lot of difficult situations, even though the incident from the mistake has happened, they will always have
second
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a second
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plan to fix
it
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apply
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by
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apply
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its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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experience from the rest of the world. In simple
term
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terms
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, the experience can
also
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help them to pass many incidents in their life by aiding them in many aspects,
such
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as the concepts from the cultures and the managerial skills from living alone without the control of parents. In conclusion, I strongly agree with
this
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idea since it seems to me that many
people
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who went abroad
,
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apply
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and
came
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come
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back to their own
country
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can illustrate
the
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to the
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people
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around them
about
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apply
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the skills that they have learnt from all across the world
by
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through
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their characteristics
that is
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cultivated by travelling in the foreign
country
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.
Submitted by NAT NATTANAN on

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task response
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly address the question. Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a specific point related to the main topic and provide examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion by restating the main points and thesis statement. Use transition words to connect ideas and create a smoother flow between paragraphs.
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