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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #freedom #work #world #development #communication #technology #transportation #trend
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Nowadays people can easily live wherever they want and communicate with each other because of the development of transportations and technology of communications all over the
world
Use synonyms
. I am going to talk about the strengths and weaknesses of what I mentioned before. There are some benefits of development of transportations and communications.
For instance
Linking Words
, even though the distance of where they lived and where they are going to move is far, there are transports
such
Linking Words
 as cargo cars and ships. For communication, It has developed a lot of things
such
Linking Words
 as signal towers so that we can connect with each
other
Accept comma addition
other, although
although
Linking Words
 they are far away between or among the countries.
Linking Words
Also we
Accept comma addition
Also, we
 can get stocks or stuff from other countries with
airplanes
Suggestion
 even though they are far away. It takes not that long to get the stuff. But there are a lot of people who are abusing the development of communications like voice phishing to rob one’s money or assets. It has been one of the big problems in
this
Linking Words
world
Use synonyms
 because they are calculating all the things not to be caught by the police.
In addition
Linking Words
, there is big trouble all over the
world
Use synonyms
 with transportation because it causes so many accidents that it hurts tens of thousands of people. Actually too many people are dying from accidents globally. Based on my research 1.35
millions
Suggestion
million
 of people are killed on roadways around the
world
Use synonyms
. It is too big for people. For the final, there must be advantages and disadvantages of developing communications and transportations. There are some people who use these things
for
Suggestion
in
 good
ways but
Accept comma addition
ways, but
 some are not.
Submitted by lyra mae geraga on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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