The increase in mobile phone use in recent years has transformed the way we live, communicate and do business. Mobile phones can also be the cause of social or medical problems. What forms do these problems take? Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of mobile phones? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

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Due to recent
advancement
Suggestion
advances
in communication technology,
mobile phone
Suggestion
the mobile phone
have become
Suggestion
has become
a part of our daily life. When compared to earlier years, People nowadays depend on mobile phones more than anything and it has become an important accessory. But, a lot of social and health related problems have
arised
come into existence; take on form or shape
arisen
due to over dependence. In my opinion the Negatives
outwins
Suggestion
out wins
the positives.
First
and foremost, is the increase in
percentage
Suggestion
the percentage
of road accidents. A large percentage of people use mobile phone when they are driving.
This
causes lose of concentration during driving
also
and possibly leads to accidents that can be fatal to the driver. We humans are mostly programmed to perform one activity at a
time so
Accept comma addition
time, so
, when we
multitasks
Suggestion
multitask
our brain cannot focus on both functions that we are carrying out.
For instance
, a survey conducted by road transportation authority indicated that, usage of phones while driving had contributed to large amount of road accidents in the cities of Kerala.
Secondly
, there is a huge increase in
number
Suggestion
the number
of persons getting addicted to mobile phones. A lot of youngsters had been reported to be admitted to various de-addiction centres for the treatment of mobile phones dependence. Over use of
phones especially
Accept comma addition
phones, especially
from
young age
Suggestion
a young age
can result in aggressive behaviour, lack of concentration, lose of interest in studies and insomnia.
For example
, the results of a health study conducted
in
Suggestion
with
by
students of different age group in Delhi indicated that, over dependence on mobile devices has resulted in emergence of violent attitude in teenagers. In conclusion, mobile phones are an important necessarily in our day to day life. Just like any available resources, mobile phones
has
Suggestion
have
have had
are having
both advantages and disadvantages. And I believe, mobile phones won't
created
Suggestion
create
any good impact in our society if we don't use it
causously
as if with kid gloves; with caution or prudence or tact
cautiously
.
Submitted by Mary on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • over-reliance
  • cyberbullying
  • screen time
  • data privacy
  • identity theft
  • financial fraud
  • eye strain
  • sleep disorders
  • chronic issues
  • productivity
  • notifications
  • validation
  • self-esteem
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