IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

It has been claimed that workers over 50 are not responsive to rapidly changing ideas and that for this reason younger workers are to be preferred. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example from your own experience or knowledge.

The belief that employees over 50 years that work in contemporary offices do not react positively to
changes
Accept comma addition
changes, therefore
therefore
Linking Words
 opportunities are passed on to their younger colleagues. I agreed totally
to
Suggestion
with
 the above as older colleagues tend to be stuck in the past ways of doing their jobs that they miss out on career improvements, training opportunities and new ideas. They feel that the way things were done during their prime was better and more effective. Most of the older workers are enmeshed in their responsibilities with no time for learning new things, they are not
upto
Suggestion
up to
 date of the latest changes in their professions. So when fresh ideas or opportunities are presented at work, they resent it because of lack of knowledge and inability to interact with the new and radical changes in the profession. A good example is that of a senior supervisor at a food processing company
opposed
Suggestion
has opposed
 the new idea of reducing the production process by 5 hours cutting out 5 obsolete machines and introducing one machine that can do the work of the 5
old
Suggestion
older
 machines. He came up with several reasons why that would be
impossible despite
Accept comma addition
impossible, despite
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 shown various examples of other companies that have adopted same machines and increased their production. The management had to promote a younger colleague who had shown interest in the task of integrating the latest machine to the production company. The junior worker is now managing the new process. Most workers over 50years oppose new knowledge and innovation because they feel they know better and have the experience to show for it. They are more reluctant to take risks and are averse to charting the unknown.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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