A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Guarding its citizens and protecting their lives and commodities is a government`s prime obligation.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some people debate that defence proportion

Suggestion

the country`s budget should

further

Linking Words

be increased, decreasing it some from social projects,

however

Linking Words

I do not comply with

this

Linking Words

stance

Suggestion

standard

. Providing security and safety in a country, does not merely means, protecting

country`s borders

Suggestion

the country`s borders

or defending it from other invading countries; it

also

Linking Words

involves protecting its citizens from

intra-state

involving and relating to the mutual relations of states especially of the United States

interstate

violence. It is borne out statistically that 90% of the countries do not face any threat from other countries;

however

Linking Words

, they are, in any sense, subjected to local

terrorizations

an overwhelming feeling of fear and anxiety

terrors

of increased number of murders, robberies, etc.

Linking Words

This unfortunately

Accept comma addition

This, unfortunately

can not

cannot

be tackled by just spending on security forces, which would impose punishments and

fiercely

Suggestion

fiercest

fiercer

force to follow the law.

This

Linking Words

requires proper education, training and mentoring of the individuals which require spending on social projects

such

Linking Words

as rehabilitation centres, educational institute, workshops, and seminars.

In addition

Linking Words

to safeguarding its citizens` lives, governments

also

Linking Words

have some other responsibilities; one of which is providing free education and health- care facilities. Countries that spend more on their forces and neglect these basic amenities for their citizen can never progress and will always remain in a state of chaos, in contrary to the countries that spend on social-needs of its citizens.

For instance

Linking Words

, Germany, New Zealand and many other western countries have

very low defence budget

Suggestion

a very low defence budget

very low defence budgets

but offer free education to its citizens.

This

Linking Words

has not only improved the literacy

rate but

Accept comma addition

rate, but

has

also

Linking Words

increased the awareness in

masses

Suggestion

the masses

and eradicated

violence

Suggestion

violent

in their nature and

hence

Linking Words

these countries have minimum crime rate and are considered as the most contented regions. In conclusion, a fair balance should be maintained between defence and social benefits. A country`s military should be strong enough that no one dares to violate its boundaries,

Linking Words

furthermore it

Accept comma addition

furthermore, it

should

also

Linking Words

focus on providing its

people adequate

Suggestion

people with adequate

social benefits to live a comfortable and satisfied life.

Sana Rafiq

Jun 24, 2020

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

326 words

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A government has a responsibility to its citizens to ensure their safety. Therefore, some people think that the government should increase spending on defence but spend less on social benefits. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries the proportion of old people is steadily increasing. some think this is good, while others believe this is a problem for a country. discuss both views and give your own opinion.

18.Education of young people is highly prioritized in many countries. However educating adults who cannot write or read is even more important and governments should spend more money on this. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the news channels and media nowadays have sensationalised and influenced people’s lives in negative ways. Others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and teamwork skills are more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.