IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing countries. However, those in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this? (Write 250 words.)

Economic transformation has emerged widely across the world and significantly contributed to
people
Use synonyms
’s increased financial and social status in wider areas.
This
Linking Words
 phenomenon seems to ultimately enhance the
happiness
Use synonyms
 rates of those who are more prosperous, regardless of the
modernization
Change the spelling
modernisation
show examples
 in their countries.
Conversely
Linking Words
, it is found that they are less satisfied than they were in the
pastime
Check wording
past
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will illustrate the possible reasons and insights from
this
Linking Words
 discovery.
People
Use synonyms
 tend to strive for financial achievements because of
its
Fix the agreement mistake
their
show examples
 influential power to serve their living requirements. The financial stability,
however
Linking Words
, does not assure how
people
Use synonyms
 feel pleased towards their
life
Use synonyms
, though those minimum needs of living are met. One of the critical variables that
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
 the situation is the quality of
life
Use synonyms
, which comprises
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health,
for instance
Linking Words
. Money can’t trade off
happiness
Use synonyms
, especially when mental and physical health are the key indicators of
life
Use synonyms
 satisfaction. To
which
Correct pronoun usage
what
show examples
 extent, even in
modernized
Change the spelling
modernised
show examples
 regions, the upper-class residents previously put lots of effort
to upgrade
Change preposition
into upgrading
show examples
 their monetary status, which
then
Linking Words
Linking Words
last
Verb problem
left
show examples
 them with health issues and
finally
Linking Words
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
 a strong sense of
unpleasure
Use the right word
displeasure
show examples
 towards their lifestyles.
This
Linking Words
 controversy could constructively reflect the insights that are possibly developed
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the preventive actions. First of all,
wealthiness
Replace the word
wealth
show examples
 is not at
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 top of the pyramid of satisfactory existence
as
Punctuation problem
, as
show examples
the greater
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 incomes do not guarantee
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 much more ecstatic emotion
people
Use synonyms
 feel.
Consecutively
Replace the word
Consequently
show examples
, emphasis on the sequential priorities matters to quality
Use synonyms
life
Change preposition
of life
show examples
;
thus
Linking Words
, it is crucial to thoroughly consider how
people
Use synonyms
 manage the factors associated
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the indicators of
happiness
Use synonyms
 levels. Once individuals’ prioritizations have been set, their lives will be directed with distinct, but meaningful
factors
Punctuation problem
, factors
show examples
. A great
life
Use synonyms
 is possibly a result of
this
Linking Words
 reverse thinking. In conclusion, upper-class
people
Use synonyms
, who become richer over the economic growth, feel
happy less
Correct word order
less happy
show examples
 than they were in the
pastime
Check wording
past
show examples
 because they face the physical and mental problems resulting from hard dedication
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 success.
Re-prioritizing
Change the spelling
Re-prioritising
show examples
 what matters the most is one of the lessons taken from the current situations to
revolutionalize
Verb problem
revolutionise
show examples
 the perspectives and actions of achieving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
true
happiness
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Task response: You touch the task but need clear steps. State the question, give two sides, and finish with a clear lesson.
coherence
Coherence and cohesion: The flow between ideas is not steady. Use a clear topic in each paragraph and link with words like 'first', 'next', 'in addition', 'therefore'.
grammar
Grammar and word choice: There are many mistakes that slow reading. Use short, clear sentences. Use small and common words; avoid long phrases.
structure
Structure: Start with a simple intro, then two body paragraphs, then a clear conclusion.
content
You show the idea of both sides and a learning point.
structure
There is a short plan to end with a lesson.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Economic growth
  • Material wealth
  • Affluent societies
  • Social cohesion
  • Isolation and loneliness
  • Work-related stress
  • Professional expectations
  • Aspirations and reality
  • Environmental degradation
  • Sustainability
  • Consumerism
  • Comparison
  • Life balance
  • Mental well-being
  • Community relationships
  • Sustainable development
What to do next:
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