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Writing Samples
Band 4

People nowadays work hard to buy more things. This has made our life generally more comfortable but it is a pity many traditional values have been lost on the way to such materialism. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #work #life #pity #values #materialism
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people
Suggestion
People
 work hard to make their life easier and to make it way better than the lives their parents had.
in
Suggestion
In
oder
(often plural) a command given by a superior (e.g., a military or law enforcement officer) that must be obeyed
order
Order
 to make
live
Suggestion
life
 easier they have to work harder
,
Accept space
,
 earn money and buy the materials they need
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 nowadays
its
it is
it's
 not that easy to get a better job
.
Accept space
.
sometimes
Suggestion
Sometimes
 people have to leave their families to get a better job
.
Accept space
.
as
Suggestion
As
 an example
,
Accept space
,
 people who
live
go away from a place
leave
 rural
eareas
a particular geographical region of indefinite boundary (usually serving some special purpose or distinguished by its people or culture or geography)
areas
e areas
area
area's
,
Accept space
,
 they have to move to urban areas
.
Accept space
.
once
Suggestion
Once
 they leave their families they do not get a chance to return home and see their families again
.
Accept space
.
maybe
Suggestion
Maybe
 they
be
Suggestion
are
are being
 busy with their jobs and do not spend enough time with families
.
Accept space
.
that
Suggestion
That
 way
this
Linking Words
 problem cause to ruin family lives and stop sharing love with each other
.
Accept space
.
 Most of us would love to do our daily works with machine
,
Accept space
,
 materials
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 we can save time too
.
Accept space
.
yes that
Accept comma addition
Yes, that
Yes that
 is a good thing happened to human
lives but
Accept comma addition
lives, but
 there is a drawback
too which
Accept comma addition
too, which
 is we do not know what our old generations did to keep our traditional ways or cultures because all of these materials
.
Accept space
.
 As an
example there
Accept comma addition
example, there
 are some foods which our old generations made by hand
.
Accept space
.
 They used no machines
.
Accept space
.
but
Suggestion
But
 nowadays people might not know how they did them because we always use machines and materials to prepare our foods
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 that way our
traditionals
an inherited pattern of thought or action
traditions
 will no longer exist
.
Accept space
.
because
Suggestion
Because
 of buying these stuffs
,
Accept space
,
 we might have health issues too
.
Accept space
.
because
Suggestion
Because
 we do not use our bodies to do anything we do all by machines
.
Accept space
.
as
Suggestion
As
 an
example calories
Suggestion
example, calories
example calorie
example calorie calorie
do not burn
Suggestion
does not burn
becase
for the reason that; on account of
because
 we use machines.
nowadays
Suggestion
Nowadays
 people go to
gym
Suggestion
the gym
a gym
 just to burn calories
,
Accept space
,
 but if we look up to our history our old
genorations
all the people living at the same time or of approximately the same age
generations
generation
 never used a gym because they had healthy lives already.
Submitted by Cezzane Ferdnz on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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