IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think playing computer games is bad for children on everything. Others think it has some positive on the way children develop. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #computer #games #children
In today's world,
computer
 games have become very popular
in
Suggestion
with
 teenage and adults as well as they are more eye-catching than they used to be a few years ago.
However
, some people think that
computer
 games are just a waste of time and is inimical to the children, whereas others believe that
such
 games help children evolve. I shall put some light on both the views given here before getting towards the conclusion. I believe that playing games would be beneficial in some ways if played within a certain limit. To start with the one side of playing games, that could be detrimental in several ways. It affects children's behaviour, mental and physical health.
For example
, children may suffer with weakened eyes, laziness, and obesity like problems.
Moreover
, children feel bemused between reality and fantasy very frequently. It is sometimes less gratifying and less fascinating for them to play outside games like Tennis, Football, etc. Children get so addicted to these games that sometimes they keep playing for hours and they may act violently because of
such
 games which could eventually lead to aggressive behaviour.
In contrast
 to the drawbacks, there are some pros of playing
computer
 games. To take a note, one can learn decision making skills, problem solving skills, coordination, collaboration, and multi-tasking. Playing games would encourage them for risk taking and exploration. Apart from these, it would
also
 help children not only how to behave in teams, but
also
 how to handle teams by team building and teamwork. Physically, children can improve their hand-eye coordination by using them simultaneously. To be concise, I opine that drawback of playing
computer
 games overweigh its advantages. The only condition is that children should play games in moderation.
Hence
, parents should emphasize more on playing outdoor games than
computer
 games to keep their children more active and healthier.
Submitted by Pratik on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: