IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many foods are shipped from far away. Some people think that eating local food is more beneficial both environmentally and economically. Do you think the advantages outweigh its disadvantages?

Exporting and consuming the imported
food
Use synonyms
 has become a global trend.
While
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Food
Use synonyms
 trade is a profitable business, few people
argues
Correct subject-verb agreement
argue
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 that consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 is more beneficial for
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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 and
economy
Correct article usage
the economy
show examples
. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both advantages and disadvantages of both versions of the argument and will present my view of the latter. On one hand, some people argue that relying on imported
meal
Fix the agreement mistake
meals
show examples
 will help to address the demand for supply of
food
Use synonyms
.
While
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 it is true that importing
food
Use synonyms
 saves a lot of time,
thus
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 easing the entire supply chain mechanism, there
are
Verb problem
is are
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 high
chances
Fix the agreement mistake
chance
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 of putting health at risk. Foods are often perishable goods
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 to improve the
life
Check wording
shelf life
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 of the meal, exporters use a variety of preservatives
while
Linking Words
 packaging the
food
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. These foods, when consumed, will have a wide range of
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 on the digestive system of the consumers.
This
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 practice may be suitable for some countries with geographical
disadvantages
Punctuation problem
disadvantages,
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 where they may not have enough land to cultivate and produce their own feed.
For example
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, Singapore has a very limited scope for farming and
hence
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this
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 country completely relies on its neighbouring countries for
supply
Correct article usage
the supply
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 of
food
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
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, I would argue that consuming local cuisine has a great range of benefits. First and foremost, locally produced
food
Use synonyms
 is available at a very affordable price
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 they are often nutritious as it doesn’t take much time to reach the consumers.
Also
Linking Words
, consuming the local
food
Use synonyms
 will generate a demand for supply
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
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 will help uplift the related industries like agriculture, farming,
local
Correct word choice
and local
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food
Use synonyms
 trade businesses. If
food
Use synonyms
 is produced in abundance, it can be
monetized
Use the right word
monetised
show examples
 by exporting to other countries. In a nutshell, after taking all the above points into consideration, I firmly believe that consuming local
food
Use synonyms
 has a clear edge over importing
food
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the advantages outweigh the disadvantages at scale

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coherence
Your view is clear, but the essay needs more full proof and more clear links between ideas.
coherence
Use more simple words to connect ideas: also, and, but, however, for example.
structure
Each paragraph should state one main idea with a small sentence at the start (topic sentence) and end with a line that links to the next idea.
task
In task view, give a stronger answer for both sides and then show your own view clearly.
vocabulary
Check word use and keep to common words. Some phrases are a bit hard or long.
examples
Add more simple, real examples to back up a point.
position
Clear view that local food is better overall.
example
Uses a real example (Singapore) to show a point.
structure
Essay shows both sides before the final view.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • transportation
  • environmentally friendly
  • economically beneficial
  • local farmers
  • local economy
  • fresher
  • nutritious
  • food security
  • imports
  • preserving
  • traditional farming practices
  • biodiversity
  • limited variety
  • availability
  • cost
  • contributor
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