The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers are footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#media #attention #lives #relationships #celebrities #actors #singers #footballers #time #people

Over time the media

have been tend

Suggestion

have been tending

to be too much focus

Suggestion

famous

people

Suggestion

peoples'

peoples

privacy lives.

However

, some people think they should give a chance to tell about ordinary

people

Suggestion

peoples'

peoples

lives. I disagree with

this

point of view because people who are not famous have a normal life, people do not have

curiosity

Suggestion

the curiosity

to know about ordinary lives. Paparazzi's work taking photos from the daily routine of actors e singers without permission, because they know that people are curious about

celebrities

Suggestion

celebrities'

lives. Usually, people buy magazines and reading articles on the internet to know more about them. A good example about

this

case happened a few days ago, a famous Brazilian singer who got divorced recently was in a house with

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

singer, some photographers took photos her with

this

man, speculating that they are together and

this

man was a reason for separation. Everyone got involved in

this

polemic, but at the end of history, they were recording a new song that situation helped her promote her music.

On the other hand

, if the media focus on ordinary people

life

Suggestion

live

refers to the speaker or writer

think it will not be interesting because they do not know these people routine. Maybe if they want to have

Suggestion

been

an opportunity to have an artistic career, but reporting

history people

Accept comma addition

history, people

in ordinary lives

refers to the speaker or writer

do not think it will be widely accepted by people, maybe some are curious. In conclusion, people like to follow

celebrities

Suggestion

celebrities'

lives if change focus on ordinary lives

refers to the speaker or writer

do not think it will be interested because they are not famous.

Submitted by Maria Clara Guimarães Cordeiro on Fri Jun 26 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The media pay too much attention to the lives and relationships of celebrities such as actors, singers are footballers. They should spend more time reporting the lives of ordinary people instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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The youth crime rate is rising rapidly in many countries. What are the reasons for this trend? What can parents and teachers do to solve it?

Some students do not have the natural ability for other languages. Some people think that schools should not force students to learn foreign languages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, an increase in crime has been blamed on violent images on television and in computer and video games. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?