The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generation. What are the reasons for this, and How this problem be tackled?

#people #generation

With growing modernisation in restaurant, pubs, bars, fast food, trucks and other food chains, there is rising problem of obesity. There are increasing number of obese people with each passing day. Too much fat is vulnerable

for

Suggestion

health yet they eat

whole lot

Suggestion

a whole lot

the whole lot

Such

practises can

resolved

Suggestion

resolve

with

correct steps

Suggestion

the correct steps

rder

(often plural) a command given by a superior (e.g., a military or law enforcement officer) that must be obeyed

order

to overcome crises. Particularly, speaking in developed nation around the world. They have plenty of resources. Due to which they can produce as vast and rapid rate.

Furthermore

advancement

Suggestion

the advancement

of technology and machine has

also

played a major role. People are getting fat because they sit eight hours a day. Without doing any full body movement.

Therefore

, they burnt less calories in

compare

Suggestion

comparing

to that of

generation

Suggestion

the generation

generations

a generation

before them.

Secondly

, they do not follow

healthy diet

Suggestion

a healthy diet

healthy diets

Likewise

, they eat unhealthy fat food with

lot

Suggestion

a lot

lots

of calories. So, not only they are

lazy but

Accept comma addition

lazy, but

also

have a bad habit of consuming. There are

other

Suggestion

also other major

also

major causes which lead us to

such

poor dieting habits of

vast majority

Suggestion

a vast majority

the vast majority

. Undoubtedly, we are facing

issue

Suggestion

issues

of inadequate eating,

this

issue can be resolved by government spreading awareness.

This

way people will learn about

nutritional value

Suggestion

the nutritional value

and their benefits.

Also

, media and news should market healthy routine. By awakening more

crowd we

Accept comma addition

crowd, we

can definitely can see good results. To mitigate, one should adapt healthy culture of leaving by consumption of

nutritional

Suggestion

nutritious

fruits and vegetable which is good for

long and happy living

Suggestion

a long and happy living

Submitted by Shreya on Sat Jun 27 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

240 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The number of people who are overweight or obese is far higher than in previous generation. What are the reasons for this, and How this problem be tackled?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In some countries,small number of people earn extremely high salaries.Some people believe that this is good for the country.but others think that governments should not allow salaries above certain levels Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Compare the advantages and disadvantages of three of the following as media for communicating information. State which you consider to be the most effective. comics books radio television film theatre

For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement ? People should read only those books that are about real events l, real people, and established facts. Use specific and details to support your opinion.