Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare students for the realistic demands of modren working world.

It is undeniable that education has become an indispensable weapon in order for students to keep up with the fast pace of changes associating with technology for the
last
few decades. Presently, schools as well as institutions put too much emphasis on the old conventional subjects, which
are not adequately prepare
Suggestion
are not adequately preparing
have not adequately prepared
students for realistic demands of
modern working world
Suggestion
the modern working world
. I completely agree with
this
phenomenon and here are some of my viewpoints will be discussed in
this
essay to address
this
given statement. It is widely acknowledged that students are likely to have
different life
Suggestion
a different life
and discrepant
knowledge
or experience.
However
, traditional
subjects providing
Accept comma addition
subjects, providing
students educational foundation to apply in some certain situations. Take literature in Vietnam as an example, students are bound to be forced to meet
teacher’s requirements
Suggestion
the teacher’s requirements
scale and follow
outdated curriculum
Suggestion
an outdated curriculum
published
for
Suggestion
in
from
long time
Suggestion
a long time
ago so they may gain
unvaluable
having incalculable monetary, intellectual, or spiritual worth
invaluable
knowledge
for their future career. It is advisable that education should go
further
than it currently does. Not only does it well prepare for student’s
knowledge
,
Accept space
,
but
also
optimizie
make optimal; get the most out of; use best
optimize
optimise
optimized
their own personal thinking in lieu of focusing excessively on learning basic thesis.
Secondly
, traditional curriculum should be publicized at all
schools but
Accept comma addition
schools, but
need to be less academic-based subjects and optional. Changing the way to reach core
knowledge
foundation and educational lessons by learning via internet or technological platforms for several up-to-date subjects
such
as time
managment
the act of managing something
management
skills, collaborating skills and so on.
Thus
,
Accept space
,
students will be more independent and confident for realistic demands of
modern working world
Suggestion
the modern working world
. In conclusion, well-balanced
knowledge
base in schools should be put into consideration as a top
prority
status established in order of importance or urgency
priority
with the aim to prepare students for careers far more significant than concentrating on traditional subjects.
Submitted by Toan Thai Thanh on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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