IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe law changes human behaviour. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #law #changes #behaviour
Many people think that
law
Suggestion
the law
laws
 can change the behaviour of the humans
Moreover I
Accept comma addition
Moreover, I
 too agree with
this
 statement that the rules and regulations provided by the them can the change mindset of people who are in a cruel way.
Firstly some
Accept comma addition
Firstly, some
 people in the society are habituated to lavish life by using money, if once it is gone, they committed to the murder's and other antisocial elements for the betterment of their life
in addition
 to
this
 they didn't want to work under a person thinks that they are superior. So to control those
type
Suggestion
types
 of people and to switch them
law
 plays a crucial role. There are some other category who kill their own relatives because of money, to change and punish them
law
 is very useful.
Secondly there
Accept comma addition
Secondly, there
 is a certain
type
 of people who has an opinion that the case doesn't do anything
Moreover they
Accept comma addition
Moreover, they
 take
law
Suggestion
the law
 in their hands and make mistakes and crimes because of some incidents in the past. For
such
type
 of people, the government has to counsel them in a better way in spite of their behaviour, though there are many people with the
law
 some are against it
such
 as terrorists, Maoists.
Nevertheless
 of their work, the regime should show a better way for them to sustain in a modern world.
Next
 there are some rules have to be changed for certain crimes like rape. The person who committed to
this
 crime should punished immediately not more than one day, but the authority delays it despite of the crime. We hope that the government would think about
this
type
 of issues.
Finally
, in my opinion, there are more advantages to people who believes in charter than disadvantages who doesn't believe in it.
Law
Suggestion
The law
 can do anything for people and it can break anything for the good and progress of the people.
Submitted by NAGARAJU NAGARAJU on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: