IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well‐educated today. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#children #time #television #book #tool #well‐educated
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The SOCIALIST REPUBLIC OF VIETNAM Independence - Freedom - Happiness Ho Chi Minh City, June 26, 2020 Dear:
Hutech
Suggestion
 International Training Institute of Ho Chi Minh City University of Technology (HUTECH) On June 3, 2020, I sent a
letter
Use synonyms
 to the Institute to inform about Dr.
Kieu
Suggestion
 Anh Tai's decision related to guiding the dissertation of the Master of Tourism and Hospitality Management program (Master of Hospitality). Arts in Hospitality and Tourism Industry Management [MA-HTIM]). On June 22, 2020, I received an
email
Use synonyms
 from Dr. Pham Thi Hai Quynh - Director of Hutech International Training Institute. In the
letter
Use synonyms
, the President informed about the shortcomings and limitations of the
graduation
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
thesis including
Accept comma addition
thesis, including
: (i) The unmodified Literature review at the request of Bangkok University Council (
BU
Use synonyms
); (ii) Not conforming to the standard of presenting the final
thesis
Use synonyms
 of
BU
Use synonyms
 (with a set form); (iii) Plagiarism.
In addition
Linking Words
, the Director
also
Linking Words
 asked me to clearly explain the delay in submitting the revised article as prescribed by
BU
Use synonyms
. Now, I would like to present the following: 1. About the shortcomings and limitations mentioned in the
email
Use synonyms
 On November 23, 2019, I participated in
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 of my graduate
thesis
Use synonyms
. On December 16, 2019, the Institute announced the results of the
thesis
Use synonyms
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
. (i) Content - Part of the Literature review has not been modified at the request of Bangkok University Council (
BU
Use synonyms
) On December 28, 2019, I sent an
email
Use synonyms
 to the instructor. In the
letter
Use synonyms
, I have listed the comment notes and comments
of
Suggestion
on
 the
Graduation
Use synonyms
Defense
Suggestion
Defence
 Council for lecturers to know and give additional comments (if any -
email
Use synonyms
 attached).
However
Linking Words
, the instructor's responses did not clearly answer whether the above lists had recorded fully, omitted, or correctly commented, commented, or not.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the process of editing the dissertation, I still base on the comments of the Council that I have recorded as well as corrected by additional comments of GVHD (the drafted edits and opinions of the GVHD were sent to the Institute with the
letter
Use synonyms
 dated June 3, 2020). Because the discussion was to mainly revise the
thesis
Use synonyms
 via test
email
Use synonyms
, I certainly could not absorb the exact requirements of the research. I am always looking forward and ready to complete my
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 as required. (ii) Form - Not in line with the standard presenting the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 of
BU
Use synonyms
 (with the prescribed form) At the time of defending the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 - November 23, 2019, the Council did not require editing of the presentation format of the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, I have not received any other comments on the specific standards that need to be revised.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in the process of editing the dissertation, I still subjectively keep the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 presentation form until now. I always look forward to pointing out things that are not in line with the standards to correct the final
thesis
Use synonyms
. (iii) Plagiarism Plagiarism is a serious problem related to scientific ethics. I am always aware of how not to violate
this
Linking Words
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I recommend that the Institute verify the allegations and point out the plagiarism violations in my
graduation
Use synonyms
 essays. 2. Explanation of deadline for submission of
corrected
Suggestion
correcting
 submissions At 06:30, April 7, 2020, I sent an
email
Use synonyms
 to the Program Manager, asking for the correction and progress of submitting the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 (
email
Use synonyms
 attached). By 11:26, on 07
/
Use synonyms
04
/
Use synonyms
2020, I have received an
email
Use synonyms
 from the Institute asking to submit the
graduation
Use synonyms
thesis
Use synonyms
 to consider graduating as soon as possible (because
BU
Use synonyms
 considered graduating in batches in the year) (
email
Use synonyms
 attached). Until now, I have not received notice of the
next
Linking Words
 deadline to submit papers. Above are my comments and explanations, as requested from the Institute
at
Suggestion
by
email
Use synonyms
 06
/
Use synonyms
22
/
Use synonyms
2020. I hope that the Institute will consider, guide, and resolve to help me complete the procedure to be granted a "Master of Arts in Hospitality and Tourism Industry Management" by Bangkok University. Sincerely, thank the Institute for interest and support in the past and look forward to timely resolution. Best regards, Nguyen Thi Hong Diem
Submitted by Phúc Hoàng Gia on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educational tool
  • Documentaries
  • Passive consumption
  • Critical thinking
  • Imagination
  • Attention span
  • Literacy skills
  • Screen time
  • Parental guidance
  • Digital materials
  • Interactive learning
  • Multimedia resources
  • Cognitive development
  • Reading comprehension
  • Balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: