IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that the government should increase tax on unhealthy food to encourage people to start eating healthy. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #government #tax #food
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Recent years have seen, junk
food
Use synonyms
has became
Suggestion
has become
 more and more popular. Some believe that the
tax
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 should be increased by
government
Use synonyms
 to encourage people to start eating healthy. In my view, I would agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea for the following rationales. The
first
Linking Words
 reason is the increasing of
tax
Use synonyms
 can increase the revenue of the
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 implies the
government
Use synonyms
 has more funds to build more infrastructures
such
Linking Words
 as highway, railway and other forms of public facilities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the increasing of
tax
Use synonyms
 can
also
Linking Words
 improve the social welfare policy like
healthy
Suggestion
health
 insurance.
As a result
Linking Words
, our society can reap benefits. Another reason for increasing the
tax
Use synonyms
 of unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 is that the consumers will be unwilling to make purchases on it. Since the reduction of having unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
, the probability of catching diseases can be reduced. As a
people
Suggestion
person
become
Suggestion
becomes
 more healthy, the fees of personal medical expense will decrease. It may be claimed that increasing
tax
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
 may make some particular companies hard
for
Suggestion
to
 survive and it is unfair.
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 argument is unconvincing since these companies will be replaced by new ones which provide healthy
food
Use synonyms
 just like the normal business competition. One similar example of
this
Linking Words
 can be seen in the industrial revolution. The invention of cars replaced the horses. It had been recorded as an important innovation
of
Suggestion
in
 human history. All things considered, the
government
Use synonyms
 should increase
tax
Use synonyms
 on unhealthy
food
Use synonyms
. It can increase the revenue of the
government
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, the fees of
personally
Suggestion
personal
 medical expense
also
Linking Words
 be reduced. So that both individuals and society can be benefited.
Submitted by 莊曉薇 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unhealthy food
  • junk food
  • calorie-dense
  • taxing
  • incentivize
  • manufacturers
  • prohibitively expensive
  • disproportionately
  • low-income households
  • healthcare costs
  • obesity
  • diet-related diseases
  • punitive measures
  • lifestyle choices
  • government intervention
  • food industry
  • economic impact
What to do next:
Look at other essays: