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Writing Samples
Band 4

The mass media, including television, radio, and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
The mass media, including television, radio, and newspapers, have great influence in shaping people's ideas.
Body paragraph 1
To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Body paragraph 2
Studies have shown that newspapers and television stations play a dominant role in a society, and their dominance comes from audiences and viewers. I am inclined to believe that
media
Suggestion
the media
 has its negative aspects which prevail over the positive ones. I fully endorse that the power media conquers people’s mindset. In the following lines, a thorough presentation of my perspective will be discussed in detail.
Body paragraph 3
First
Linking Words
 of all, one of the negative points of media is that it is controlled by the government and it is used as a tool for disseminating propaganda or faking news.
In other words
Linking Words
, if the government wants to divert audiences away from political issues, scandals will be released by the government through televisions programs or newspapers.
This
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 can be witnessed in the United States where its president’s reputation had been maligned by his opponents because of political matters, and
this
Linking Words
 a scandal published in newspapers and television stations.
This
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 example shows that visualize programs can affect laymen’s opinion and leak shameful secrets.
Body paragraph 4
continuing
Suggestion
Continuing
 with the drawbacks, celebrities have been using social media and talk shows to bully or gossip. To clarify, after a renowned one was attacked by the
influencers
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influences
, the audiences would invasive
this
Linking Words
 person without any compassion, and they would start harassing.
For example
Linking Words
, posting fake pictures and unreal stories are typical examples of how can the mass media publish lying things
on
Suggestion
to
 innocent people and it causes deleterious effects on their personal life that can result in devastating their personality.
Thus
Linking Words
, not only do televised programs and radio deteriorate one’s life, but they
also
Linking Words
 publish a slander on people.
Body paragraph 5
To conclude, having explained my stance above, it can be reiterated that all types of communication give invariably a negative impact on people.
Body paragraph 6
Our Dear IELTS Candidates,
Body paragraph 7
-To check our comments, you are kindly requested to download the
file
Accept comma addition
file, then
then
Linking Words
 check it on a laptop, NOT a mobile phone.
Body paragraph 8
- Please write down your mistakes and study them. Do not repeat them.
Body paragraph 9
- Always proofread your essay before submission.
Body paragraph 10
We wish you all the best in your journey of success.
Body paragraph 11
IELTS Standard of Evaluation Definition according to Cambridge Rubric (Task 2) Our Comments on your Essay
Body paragraph 12
Task Achievement
Body paragraph 13
Band 7
This
Linking Words
 means that the topic must be fully covered with
explanation
Suggestion
an explanation
 and support, and the opinion is clearly presented.
covers
Suggestion
Covers
 the requirements of the task presents a clear overview of
main trends
Suggestion
the main trends
, differences or stages
Body paragraph 14
presents
Suggestion
Presents
 a clear purpose, with the tone consistent and appropriate
Body paragraph 15
clearly
Suggestion
Clearly
 presents key features
Body paragraph 16
Cohesion and Coherence
Body paragraph 17
Band 7 There is a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay. There is no overuse or underuse of connectors. ƒ logically organizes information and
Body paragraph 18
ideas
Suggestion
Ideas
; there is clear progression
Body paragraph 19
throughout
Suggestion
Throughout
Body paragraph 20
ƒ uses a
range
Use synonyms
 of cohesive devices
Body paragraph 21
appropriately
Suggestion
Appropriately
although
Linking Words
 there may be
Body paragraph 22
some
Suggestion
Some
 under-use
Body paragraph 23
ƒ presents a clear central
topic within
Accept comma addition
topic, within
Body paragraph 24
each
Suggestion
Each
 paragraph
Body paragraph 25
Lexical Resources
Body paragraph 26
Band
Suggestion
B and
 6 A wide
range
Use synonyms
 of vocabulary and no errors in spelling, collocation or
word
Use synonyms
 formation. Avoid lexical repetition.
uses
Suggestion
Uses
 a wide
range
Use synonyms
 of vocabulary for the task
Body paragraph 27
ƒ attempts to use less common
Body paragraph 28
vocabulary
Suggestion
Vocabulary
 but with some inaccuracy
Body paragraph 29
makes
Suggestion
Makes
 some errors in
word
Use synonyms
 formation, and
word
Use synonyms
 choice, but they
Body paragraph 30
do
Suggestion
Do
 not impede communication
Body paragraph 31
Grammatical
Range
Use synonyms
 and Accuracy
Body paragraph 32
Band 6 There is good control of grammar and punctuation marks along with a variety of sentence structures (
such
Linking Words
 as if conditional).
uses
Suggestion
Uses
 a variety of complex structures
Body paragraph 33
produces
Suggestion
Produces
 frequent error-free sentences
Body paragraph 34
has
Suggestion
Has
 good control of grammar and punctuation;
however
Linking Words
, a few errors are found.
Body paragraph 35
Word
Use synonyms
 Limit The essay should
range
Use synonyms
 between 260 and 330. Manage your TIME. 291 words, which is above the
word
Use synonyms
 limit.
Body paragraph 36
Band
Range
Use synonyms
 Band 6.5
Body paragraph 37
PLEASE STUDY YOUR MISTAKES. DO NOT JUST CHECK THE BAND.
Conclusion
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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