Someone believes that modern telecommunication devices have many benefits to human, while others think otherwise. What is your opinion? Please discuss and use examples to support your own ideas.

Over the past several years,
telecommunication
appliances have been steadily spreading.
While
some may feel that
this
phenomenon may have adverse effects, I would argue that its benefits are far greater than any possible concerns.
To begin
with, telecommunications gadgets have allowed many multinational corporations to thrive.
This
is mainly because these entities usually communicate with their international branches utilizing
telecommunication
devices
such
as laptops; daily tasks
such
as sending
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mail or receiving a paycheck
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
carried out instantly.
For instance
, Merck, A multinational pharmaceutical company, gives portable computers to its employees all over the
world
to send queries and receive job duties rapidly.
In addition
to
this
, current
telecommunication
appliances are connecting many families.
For Example
, immigrants usually communicate with their families using Skype, an application for video calls, which is conducted on a smart device.
This
makes the
world
an accessible place and helps relatives who
destined
Add a missing verb
are destined
show examples
to be apart to interact with each
others
Change to a singular noun
other
show examples
.
In contrast
, if
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
did
Verb problem
had
show examples
not
invent
Wrong verb form
invented
show examples
such
telecommunication
devices, they would be still living in a
stone age-like
Correct your spelling
Stone Age-like
show examples
world
. In conclusion,
although
some people may perceive the existing
telecommunication
device As an issue, I am
off
Replace the word
of
show examples
the opinion that these gadgets are beneficial for the human race because they not only help businesses to save time and effort, but they
also
make the
world
a smaller place.
Submitted by AHMED ABDEEN on

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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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