IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Nowadays, international tourism is the biggest industry in the world. Unfortunately, international tourism creates tension rather than understanding between people from different cultures. Do you agree or disagree?

#tourism #industry #world #tension #people #cultures
There is no doubt that international
tourism
 is the most extensive industry in the world.
Nevertheless
, numerous people strongly believe that
this
 field may cause tension rather than understanding between humans
from
Suggestion
of
 cultural diversity. From my perspective, I partly agree with the view above. On the one hand, there are a range of people assume that tension can be created by
tourism industry
Suggestion
the tourism industry
. It means that the majority of tourists merely pay attention to interests of ideal destinations without giving a hand to preserve the core value of culture and traditions there.
For example
, there are more and more tourist attractions of
Vietnam namely
Accept comma addition
Vietnam, namely
 Ha Long or Sam Son are extremely polluted owing to littering of visitors.
Consequently
, nations that are affected may pass laws to punish foreign tourists for the negative
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
, so relationships among countries might be weakened.
On the other hand
, there are quite a few humans have the thought that the development of
tourism
 is likely to encourage people to comprehend about traditions of different countries. When visitors travel around historical sites and read documents related to history there, they may deeply understand the core values of international
tourism
.
Additionally
, a great deal of people
tend
Suggestion
tends
 to use
ecotourism
 services,
as a result
, they are likely to observe the unique features of farmers’ life as well as the beauty of the nature and it is a way to understand about cultures. In conclusion, albeit the caused tension of international
tourism
, it is highly believed that
tourism
 industry may stimulate foreign visitors to see
characteristics
Suggestion
the characteristics
 of each nation’s
traditions
Suggestion
tradition
 in the world.
Submitted by Lê Xuân Anh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: