Old people suffer from loneliness and health related problem. What are the causes behind this.

#people #loneliness #health

Aged people get worried about the possibility by which they can live alone and earn possible

deseases

an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

diseases

due.I will offer my ideas based on finding causes of

this

problem

To begin

with

Accept space

many people all over the world live without family members and care

Suggestion

them or anyone else.It leads to variety

ilmesses

impairment of normal physiological function affecting part or all of an organism

illnesses

and create dark atmosphere in the place they live.

Moreover it

Accept comma addition

Moreover, it

causes terrible incidents

such

suicid

the act of killing yourself

suicide

suicides

squid

, self-harming or some

phisical

involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit

physical

and mental

diabilities

the condition of being unable to perform as a consequence of physical or mental unfitness

disabilities

In other words

Accept space

lifes

Suggestion

the lives

lives

of these people will be spoiled to the rest of their

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

life

and if volunteers

Accept space

goverment

the organization that is the governing authority of a political unit

government

managers or family members

dont

do not

don't

undertake needful measures for saving their

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

life

But their

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

life

legs

which

transfering

transfer somebody to a different position or location of work

transferring

this

form

has

Suggestion

have

many

reaosons

a rational motive for a belief or action

reasons

First

of all

Accept space

main cause

Suggestion

the main cause

of unhappy

life

aged

Suggestion

aging

people is their relatives who

couldnt

could not

couldn't

provide attention or look after them as good relatives they have to be for them.It is important to be close to them as much as possible.

Secondly

for

Suggestion

For

the

life

of every person should take a care a government

also

because one of their goals is cut down the number of unhappy citizens and make their

lifes

a characteristic state or mode of living

lives

life

better

Accept space

if government

cant

can not

can't

provide

roof

Suggestion

the roof

under head for those who live without connection with

external world

Suggestion

the external world

an external world

Accept space

then

they one of the causers.But measure which can be directed to solve

this

problem is pay attention for every

persons

Suggestion

person's

life

without any exceptions.

Finally

old

Suggestion

older

people unfortunately

Accept comma addition

people, unfortunately

could be the cause of their sad

life

situation because of their bad lifestyle or unpretentious attitude to relatives and

consequently

create

problem

Suggestion

problems

a problem

for themselves.To avoid

this

Accept space

it is enough to be

tolerate

Suggestion

tolerated

and polite in

comuncation

the activity of communicating; the activity of conveying information

communication

with people and conduct health lifestyle In

colusion

a New Testament book containing an epistle from Saint Paul to the Colossians in ancient Phrygia

Colossians

collision

reaosons

a rational motive for a belief or action

reasons

which lead to

isoleted

not close together in time

isolated

from

external world lifestyle

Suggestion

the external world lifestyle

an external world lifestyle

external world lifestyles

and causes of

phisical

involving the body as distinguished from the mind or spirit

physical

and mental

deseases

an impairment of health or a condition of abnormal functioning

diseases

are

solvable but

Accept comma addition

solvable, but

doesnt

does not

doesn't

deny

this

fact that it

is still existing

Suggestion

still exists

and difficult to find

solution

Suggestion

a solution

solutions

the solution

for overcoming it forever.

Submitted by Saidazim on Thu Jul 02 2020

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
47Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

311 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Old people suffer from loneliness and health related problem. What are the causes behind this.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Nowadays, distance-learning programs have gained popularity, but some people argue that online courses can never be as good as those taken at a college or university in person. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, more and more older people who need employment compete with the younger people for the same jobs. What problems this causes? What are solutions?

New forms of money are appearing at an ever-faster rate. Is this a positive development or adding risk to the system? Should new money technology face greater regulation and scrutiny?