IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Somme people say history is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like science and technology are more important than history

#somme #people #history #school #subjects #world #science #technology
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Historical topics should be included in school subjects to remain the ancients of
past
Suggestion
the past
 and their cultures alive. Some people support the above idea.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some believe that learning brains should be taught
science
Use synonyms
 and technology because their outcomes will introduce the world with newer and modern inventions. I strongly agree with the later idea of introducing the subjects like
science
Use synonyms
 and applied
science
Use synonyms
 in educational sectors.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
science
Use synonyms
 which includes studies about animals, plants, chemicals, physics and
mysteries
Suggestion
the mysteries
 behind various things taking place in the surroundings. Apart from those interesting subjects which are full of miracles existing in the world, the history sounds boring to the students who wants to learn creative things as
this
Linking Words
 subject is crowded with era's and the names of the rulers and leader, which are difficult to pronounce and memorize.
However
Linking Words
, to some extend, I support the former statement
also
Linking Words
 because every culture
do have
Suggestion
does have
 their rules, regulation and limitations made by their ancestors and forefathers to be followed.
Linking Words
Hence due
Accept comma addition
Hence, due
 to the variety of traditions possessed by diverse communities they seem attractive.
Linking Words
Further more history
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, history
Furthermore history
 not only have the information of the leader and the scholars, but it
do store
Suggestion
does store
 the scientific information
for example
Linking Words
, the ongoing pandemic situation should be added to the history for the later generations, So that they should be aware of its life threatening circumstances. In conclusion, Everything
do have
Suggestion
does have
 importance on its own in learning world. So as per my
perspective these
Accept comma addition
perspective, these
 all three subjects should be taught to the students in schools because somewhere in life they may
seems
Suggestion
seem
 helpful.
Submitted by Monika Oad on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: